TUNE IN TUESDAY

Just AskMemzy

Everyone out there needs advice on occasion. Not everyone can be a genius like me.

Need to know if you should REALLY use an exclamation point at the end of that sentence? How to cope with living in a city of drab, dreary surrounding? Paper clip or binder clip? Velcro lunch box or metal with thermos? I have the answers here. Just AskMemzy and I will fulfill your wishes. As always, we will start out the week with some good, solid advice.

Your welcome in advance.

Good advice #1: If someone says: "Yuck, this stinks so badly." Trust them. You don't need to smell it to confirm the stunkedness of what they are smelling. Have you ever been glad you did? NO! So don't do it. No one likes smelling stinky things. You know it's going to smell, so don't do it. I repeat, Don't do it!

Good advice #2: During these turbulent economic times where should you put your money? The answer is diversify and put the money in the mattress as well as buried in the back yard. I see no fault in a plan to hide money beneath your mattress. It's a solid, safe place to hide stuff. The return on your money will be...let me calculate this...carry the 1...times 4 to the 5th power.......nothing. But I'm sure you will be very safe once people know you hide money beneath your mattress. People respect ones private space. Have you thought about putting some in your gym socks? You will have to be vigilant to take them out of your socks prior to a good washing, but that should be easy, especially if you put coins in there, as they could become uncomfortable over time. No one knows how to protect your money more than you. And the stink your bills will surely acquire will be enough to keep you from frivolous spending as the embarrassment will be enough to keep your cash put.

Good advice #3: Know your audience. When you make a funny comment about Dora and Swiper and how she could totally beat him up instead of just sticking her hand out saying "Swiper, no swiping!", make sure your audience is not a group of past-middle-agers who have NO IDEA who this Dora is that you speak of and does she live in your neighborhood or what?

And now it is time for your questions. I am at your beck and call (except during my gym class si claro). Aaaaaand go.........

You know, cuz I was tagged and stuff....

I am a totally awesome advice giver. Any advice you need? Just AskMemzy on Tuesdays.

I miss The Cosby Show. I wish new episodes were still do-able. I mean, who doesn't want to see Claire give Cliff the evil eye about eating a hoagie sandwich?

I think my neighborhood should put in a free bowling alley. Cuz who doesn't like to bowl? But they really getcha with those shoe rentals!

I know that dark chocolate is better than milk chocolate. FACT. No one can convince me otherwise cuz it's true.

I want rock hard abs like Kate Bosworth in the movie Blue Crush. I also want to be a surfer but I've tried that out and it didn't work out too well for me.

I have a lot of purses. And when I say a lot, of course, I mean ...........a LOT. It is a thing I have. I like to change them out from time to time and buy new ones. I'm running out of places to store them so I need an intervention.

I search for the remote (or the "gammote" as Char calls it) at least 5 times a day. So far, the longest I've looked it like 10 minutes and that almost put me over the edge.

I wish for a new camera and photog equipment. Like, a super fancier one, which shouldn't be a problem cuz they only cost thousands of dollars and stuff. ::rolling eyes::

I hate when my house is messy. It's a sickness, I can admit it. I need a cure. But if there is clutter in my house, then there is clutter in my mind. Listen, you can call it OCD if you want, I'm ok with that.

I am scared of cockroaches. It isn't so much the "bug" thing, it's the fact that they move so FAST. And they are so hard to "mass murder" as Jenny would put it. Whycome they can't just stay dead? All of them? I'll have you know that I am working on this in my own personal therapy. Cuz cockroaches are a part of life here in Bako and so I've gotten to the point where I won't scream and run. Now, I just silently stiffen like a statue and say a mantra in my head, "It's only a bug. It's only a bug. It's only a bug." Then I walk calmly into the other room, tell Shed, and curl up in the fetal position and rock back and forth for a few minutes. I think I've come a long way really.

I fear (isn't this the same as above?) going back to college and not knowing where any of my classes are, not being able to find my schedule, while everyone else is taking notes and preparing for tests, etc. I've had that recurring dream a LOT. Psychoanalyze THAT.

I always dry off from the shower in the exact same way. First the face, then head, then arms, then towel goes around the back, slides down the legs. I've mastered it really.

I love dark chocolate covered almonds from Trader Joe's. It's become one of those things that I can't live without. So, anyone want to get me a birthday gift? (I'm staring at you Farnsworth lady).

I feel sad that I can't seem to find that flo chart I promised Landee about Heroes. I'm still looking though! I know it's in my files somewhere under "TV show conspiracy theories and movie summaries".

I hear songs in my head frequently. Like, right now I am singing "Take me out to the ballgame". Can't really tell you why.

I don't want to ever make the mistake of posting "Tune in Tuesdays" again and then be gone for hours. That being said, I will be at the gym from 8:30-10:00am tomorrow so give me a leeetle leeway with that. AskMemzy needs to collect her thoughts sometimes too.

I wonder how our kids will view these blogs when they are reading them from outer space. Are they going to totally make fun of my wooden desk and plastic swivel computer chair?

I care about what people think of me. Just kidding! I don't usually care what people think of me (except Shed and maybe my parents) and that can sometimes be a problemo. So, if any of you need to, you have permission to tell me to "reign it in" every so often.

I regret not playing sports more. I am a srs sports fan and am extremely competitive. So, if any of you wanna start a pick up game of some sort just give me a call. But don't call me for golf. That's not really a sport.

I am not good at losing sleep. Memzy needs her 7-8 hours on a regulah basis or look out. However, I CAN go a few days being off but after that it's like Tina Fey in that SNL skit about pms.

I believe I can fly. Someday that Brains of mine is going to invent something RAD and I'm hoping it's the ability for personal flight.

I dance every day in my mind like its 1993 and Landee and Flemsta (Queso) are with me in the Wilkinson center and we are hearing Depeche Mode play from the speakers. Am I right? And Shed no likey dancing soooo. ......this is where my dancing ends.

I sing in the car sometimes and Char always goes, "Are you singing TOO momma?" Then I have to tell him yes and then he tells me to stop.

I write in my journal everyday. But it's on the computer. That still counts as writing tho, doesn't it? I also write blog posts in my head all the time. I need to start making a list or something like that.

I win the mother of the year contest cuz when I took the kids to the dentist last week my Cracker came out with 5 cavities and my Char Char came out with EIGHT. (he's four years old btw). So, I'll be expecting that trophy in the mail soon.

I dream really crazy stuff, like that I'm married to Patrick Dempsey and our kid is Shawn Johnson, the gymnast from the Olympics. Do you think I need therapy?

I lose the ability to talk in an "inside voice" when Landee is around. Every member of my family, including Shed, has told me in no uncertain terms, "You know you talk different when you are talking to her don't you?" My volume goes up to 11 when we talk, and it doesn't even have to be IRL (in real life), it can be over the phone too.

I never can seem to get the good parking spots at the grocery store. It's like there is a parking lot vendetta against me or something. They must see me coming and arrange all the cars accordingly.

I listen to a good song over and over again until I've killed it completely. A song doesn't usually "jump the shark" for me until I've heard it at least 100 times tho, probably more.

I read all the time, excluding the newspaper. I decided a long time ago that Shed can just tell me a brief summary of what's happening in the world. And I also ask him the weather every day, "What's it supposed to be like tomorrow?" to which he ALWAYS replies, "About the same as today". We work well together, we really do.

I am happy that this tag is over. That took me A LOT longer than I thought it would. Whew. My typing fingers need a massage. ::staring at Landee while I say that word::

ps. I need some input on some picture editing I've been messing with, so if you have a chance go to my photography link and give some feedback. Kthanksbye.

Smart Remarks Book Club Review: THE HOST by Stephenie Meyer

Readers out there may be interested to know that some of my friends, cousins, and family have started an online book club review. This time the pick was The Host by S.M.  Today is our dedicated book club day to review the book.  Sooo,  I have a few things to say about it. Ready?

Inserted

Remembered

Overheard

Resisted

Dreamed

Uncomforted

Followed

Confronted

Loved

Discovered

Turned

Dehydrated

Failed

Sentenced

Disputed

Guarded

Assigned

Visited

Bored

......

K, that's as far as I got because the book was just that...a little boring to me. Can S.M. not create a girl character that is different? Why must all her leading ladies be like this:

"I can't understand why he likes ME. He couldn't possibly care about little old ME. I'm not even that attractive, yet every man that comes near me falls hopelessly in love with me (if not romantically, than otherwise)."

And why must every girl play the martyr? Bella doesn't want people to protect her cuz she gets hurt all the time and is such a clutz. No really, Edward, you should just leave me here, I don't deserve you.  Wanda/Melanie pretends like she is never hungry or nearly dying of dehydration, etc. "I'm totally not hungry. I promise."

Instead I think S.M. should write a book with a character like ALL of us. One who is obviously the hottie that everyone loves ::serious snicker:: and who will whine and whimper about not getting REAL bread and butter along with some Diet soda thank you very much, never mind about the surviving part.

ps. Doc is my kind of guy.  Ian and Jared can go punch it out somewhere else while Doc and I sit quietly talking or chewing on our beef jerky.

FAVORITE FOTO FRIDAY!

Because kids are funny.

These are a couple of my fave photos of kids that I plan on embarrassing them with when they grow up.

#1: This is when everyone came for Molly's wedding in June. It was family picture time and then grand kid picture time. I'm thinking Sara and Ren were sick of taking pictures? And Char is obviously playing the part of cool dood who doesn't notice what's happening to his right. I'm just lucky I caught it on film. (or on my digi cam, same diff) #2: This is a pic of Cracker last year. Our school tries to suck money out of you as often as possible and one of the ways they try to do that is to have "Spring Picture Day". They've already had Fall Picture Day where they have the regulah backgrounds, etc., that you pick from and which we've purchased like the good little parents that we are. Spring Picture Day usually has some goofy background like a farm scene where the kid sits in a wheelbarrow, or a graffiti background where the kid is sitting amongst giant size crayola crayons.....you get it. I obviously ignore this day cuz I will never, I repeat, EVER buy a picture with my kid in a background like that. Ever. Well, apparently they had hyped it up at school and I came out in the morning to see Cracker looking like THIS:
He had dressed himself (shirt tucked into church pants and all) and combed his own hurr. How could I let him down? (note: I did not buy the pictures but I let him think I was buying them until he forgot about it all together---maybe a good parenting tip for Amy's book?)

Installment #2-3

I thought I'd save you the hassle of coming up with different comments for each post so I skwoonched them all together. Get your scrolly wrist braces ready. I don't want to be responsible for any injuries. Cuz this is a picture heavy post.

So, we had some fun times on our vacay. A lot of the fun was just hanging around our condos playing games and letting the kids run around. Here I am getting ready to take second place in "Ace-y Deuce-y". We played for starbursts. Those blues are TASTY.
Char Char and his "girl who is my age". They had a love-hate relationship to be sure. Charlie ended the weekend with bite marks in his pinky. But how cute is she, right?

D & G's two youngest kids.
This one imparticular is heelarious. Heart him.
Oh, I heart this one too.
On Saturday, we headed to a nearby Alpine Slide. Here's the whole set of hooligans waiting for the daddy's to buy their tickets.

The weather was PERF. It was 73 degrees and sunny. Check out the view from the top with my Cracker getting ready to go down his first time.
Shed and his baby boy, Chachi (we started jokingly calling him that and he liked it so much we've continued. that kid has, like, 12 nicknames now)

Brains going as fast as possible, si claro.


Here I am coming dow the turn while Shed is telling Cracker "get off, hurry, here comes mom!" Like, I'd actually not use my brake thingy to stop in time. Silly daddy.
I LOVED the slides and was right alongside the kids saying, "Can't we puleeease go again daddy!?"

Overall it was an awesome weekend. The weather was gorgeous, the place was fun, the condos were roomy and lots of things for the kids to do (rec room, swimming pools, hot tubs, etc.). It was one of those family vacations where everything works out perfect. Which, as we know, rarely to never happens. Sooo, according to my calculations I shouldn't have another one for 5.7 years.

Installment #1: FRIENDS + SHARING A CONDO TIME SHARE = PERFECTO VACATION

OUR DAY ON THE LAKE

So we have these friends that Shed works with who own one of those time share thingy's. They had some extra "units" available up in Big Bear Lake and invited us to come up there with them for a flanktastic weekend. We decided on the first day to rent a little pontooon boat and cruise the lake whilst chillaxing. But safety first right?

Don't you just love how the strap thingy has to go under their little chicken cutlets bum?

Here is the scene right after our buddy yelled out "mermaid, it's a mermaid!" to all the kids.

We even let "certain" people take a jab at driving the boat.

I won't name names tho...

Cuz I might get in trouble if I did...

I'm starting to see more resemblance with these two, no?

This is exactly what you'll get if you are a crazy mom wanna-be photographer who is always taking her kids pictures. I need some new subjects.
But then they forget and start smiling again for you.

Even the littlest had to wear a life vest. Poor thing.

TUNE IN TUESDAYS

JUST ASKMEMZY

Need some advice? Should I wear brown or black shoes with this dress? How many hours of shows should I TIVO a week? Which cheese is best on a roast beef sammich? What is that strange sensation on your lip? How many days is acceptable to go without washing your hurr?

Just Ask Memzy

I give good advice.

Good advice #1: Always remember to replace your refillable razor blade on the regulah. Because if you keep thinking you have "just one more shave" left in it and then you go to perform your weekly leg shave you will get lots of cuts. And it will hurt. This is bad. Fact.

Good advice #2: (this one's for you Cristin) If someone is annoying and judgmental about your parenting (or even if you think they are when they may not be) say this mantra out loud in the mirror at least three times a day. "I am the raddest, most awesomest mother that ever lived and so-in-so is not worth my time. I'll show her. I am flanktastic." ps. It's perfectly acceptable to video tape yourself doing this and share with us on the blogging world.

Good advice #3: If you feel a weird sensation on your lips that is sort of familiar, don't wait for it to go away. Go to the store and get yourself some medicine and rub it on cuz that is a cold sore fer rizzles.

Good advice #4: When swimming in a pool in the mountains....even tho it is a wonderful 75 degrees out and the sun isn't really that strong....even tho the pool is heated and comfy...even tho it's later in the day....PUT ON SUN SCREEN. Sunburns happen.

Any other questions you have? Just Ask Memzy.

I give good advice.

YOU CAN'T HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO, RIGHT?

So, I've found out that it is really hard to be away from the Bloggersfield. Especially when I could SEE the new post titles on Shed's iphone thingy but I couldn't READ them due to the bad reception up at Big Bear Lake. It was like torture. An itch you couldn't reach to scratch.

I don't recommend it to anyone, really.

We did have a Flank-tastic time though! It was a nearly perfect vacay. And I am really looking forward to organizing and uploading my brazillions of pictures I took. But until then I leave you with these.

While on vacay there was a little of this: Then some of this:
And a whole lotta this:

I KNOW HOW HE FEELS

You know when you are reeeeeally into a book. Like, you can't put it down and your whole day revolves around when you can read it next? And you completely neglect your kids, house, responsibilities? You guys prolly don't know what I mean. ::snicker:: Well, my middle boyer, Cracker, has been bitten with the..............lets call it............the "Twilight Syndrome". Just a name. Threw it out there.

I mean, how heelarious is it that he can't even stop reading to brush his teeth?

I was beaming with pride, btw, and had to run get my camera to document the next Albert Einstein as a young lad.

IN OTHER NEWS:
We Memzertons will be out of town for the weekend. We are heading to Big Bear Lake a few hours away for some cooler weather and relaxation. Don't do too much without me, tho I might be able to tear the iphone away from Shed a time or to to check in.

I'M STARTING MY OWN ADVICE COLUMN

GOOD ADVICE

Need help with something? Wonder if you should use a comma or not? What about this perm? Should I wear socks with these Teva's? Should I bunch or fold my toilet paper? Just post it here and let me know what kind of advice I should give.

If you are wondering: "Should I really ask this girl I may or may not trust for her advice?" The answer is quite simple. Yes you should. Why? Because I have good advice. How do I know? Because once I thought. "Hmmm, what should I do about _______(This has happened on several occasions.)?" Then I gave myself good advice, and it helped out a little. So if my advice is good enough for me, it is really good for you.

RANDOM ADVICE
Here's some good advice:

#1: Don't use your bare hand to test if something is hot. Try ice cube. If it melts, it's hot. Good advice.

#2: If you have sore throat, quit gulping to see if it is still sore. It probably is. Sore throats don't go away in 10 to 20 seconds.

#3: If you are talking to someone you don't like do not say "We should do something sometime" just to be nice. They may take you up on it, and you'll be stuck hanging out with some person you don't like. And it will be your fault. So don't be stupid. If you don't mean it, don't say it.

#4: Don't use a fly swatter to get the fly that is hovering over the stove top as you are cooking dinner. That is really dumb. Then you might kill the fly but involuntarily it will fall into your pot of food, possibly poisoning your family. Cuz we all know how many germs those things carry.

I GET SOOO EMOTIONAL

For those readers that may not be privy to this storyline....let me fill you in. My best frousin (that's friend + cousin) living in Denver, named Landeelu, was having a little "rodent" problem. Basically, she had an infiltration of "meeses". And when I say meese I mean a mouse--plural. She set out traps like any good woman-of-the-house-who-is-afraid-to-get-the-empty-fruit-snack-wrapper-from-under-the-couch would do. And she had a little contest going on who could guess how many meeses she would catch. I believe at this point she had caught 4 or 5 at the time. In the meantime one of my new BFF cousin-in-law's was having trouble with her cooking. Darn those pre-made cinnamon roll in a pan thingy's that you just have to heat up. Cuz they can burn.........really. So, between all of us bloggers it was decided that the prize for the best guess of meeses in Landee's house would receive the burnt cinnamon rolls, which I had aptly named "The poo loaf", for obvious reasons which you will see.

Fast forward a week or two and guess what happened? 16 mouse had been caught. You can imagine what I guessed right? 16 of course cuz I'm a genius. So, the treasured prize of the loaf of poo went to me. I was honored really. But, of course, I never actually thought I would have the treasured item in my hot little hands. Until I came home from my date last night with Shed, stopped by the mailbox to find THIS: Wha? for ME?
Carefully......

Is it possible?
It is, it is, it really is!!!!
Now you can see why it was named that, right?
Gorgeous

And it proudly sits in my TV armoire in the place of honor that it deserves.
Unless I decide to take it out and cradle it lovingly, of course.
Then I'll put it back for all to see. It makes me so emotional just thinking about it.

I would like to thank Landee and Jenny for this award, because none of this would have been possible without Landee's rodent issues and Jenny's cooking issues. I would like to thank my family for all of their support and for my computer which, so far, has never failed to let me blog as much as I want. Thank you all and goodnight.

ONE and TWO

ONE:

I've been messing around with some texture overlays to my pics and I can't decide if I like them or not. I don't know if I like them looking "artsy" or if it takes away from the original shot. Your input would help.
TWO:

Boy--likes all things "creepy", worships his older brothers and their video gaming, is always interested in who is the bad guy and who is defeated, loves anything having to do with Halloween, scary, grodie insects or bugs, prefers being in his "skivvies", etc.

Should I be concerned?

Nah, he's way too cute, right?

SOMEONE HAS A CRUSH ON ME

A list of things I have to do THIS WEEK:

1. Plan and execute a morning preschool in my house for 5 little rugrats. Theme: farm animals.
2. Plan and execute cub scouts at my house.
3. More Prop 8 phone calls/ door knocking.
4. Two soccer practices and one soccer game for Brains.
5. Plan and execute Relief Society lesson for Sunday.
6. Attend Scout round table Thurs evening.
7. Prep picture entries for the KC Fair on photo mounting boards and turn in (deadline Sat).
8. Piano practice with boys everyday.
9. Piano lesson with boys Thursday.
10. Do traffic school online for the ticket I got back in June.
11. Plan Char Char's talk that he's supposed to give Sunday.
12. Then the usual laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, gym attendance that comes with every other week.

My face/attitude while having a week like this:

::super grouchy face::

The cute guy that sired my children:

1. Did the dishes twice yesterday.
2. Made the bed for me while I was at the gym.
3. Moved on the laundry for me while I was at the gym.
4. Bought me a new vacuum (mine broked over the weekend).
5. Brought home a rotisserie chicken dinner so's I didn't have to cook.
6. Walked in with flowers.
7. Is booking my flight to Seattle in late October for a girls weekend.

And all of this was without being asked..........

I think someone has a crush on me.

Bako backdrops

You've gotta love the RR tracks and farmland that Bako offers for photo practice.
There's more on a slideshow here:

http://memzyphotography.blogspot.com/

What my Saturday's will look like for awhile

Let me just say that I am lucky that Cracker is not interested in playing because it is enough that we have practices and games in 120 degrees for Brains. If we had to do that X 2 I'd be grouchy. Even at 9am it was unbearably hot.These are the Green Goblins. Brains just barely misses the age cutoff for his group. Can you tell which one he is? He's like a HEAD taller than everyone.
Some action shots fer duh.

And being the oldest he tells everyone else where to go, what to do, etc. ....

I actually LOVE watching my kids play sports. If only it could be nice and cold like soccer weather is supposed to be.

ps. me and my fam were camped out with our snacks and soda watching the whole time si claro. Thank goodness for a refreshments stand. Even at 9am you need goodies, no?