By Memzy McSmartypansons
No one should go through life alone. You shouldn't have to look yourself in the mirror and decide whether this new and hip shade of blue eye shadow works on your 33 year old face. (it doesn't) You don't need to walk into a Walmart alone and not know how to get out alive. (it's tricky) That is why I come to you each week and let you know things.
Good Advice #1: Life will be very, very different if you use fabric softener. Get on out to your local warehouse store and buy a lifetime supply. For some insane reason, I hadn't been using it for years and years now. I'm guessing it had a lot to do with a good amount of laziness/penny pinching on my part but I digress. Whilst moving into our house recently my loverly honeybuns left a "trail" of fabric softener from the garage, all the way down the hallway, finally ending in a pool of fabric softener in the laundry room.................as he attempted to move and hook up our washer/dryer. (
see, I have those little "drawer things that sit under my washer/dryer and I guess I had an old bottle in there?). Anyhoo, 5.5 beach towels later and the inaugural wash-after-hookup took place, I threw that load of towels in the dryer, yadda yadda. Imagine me now hearing the dryer beep (picture this in slow motion please), opening up that load of lusciousness (previously unknown to me) and finding my sandpaper beach towels turned into pillowy folds of my own personal heaven. What? Oh that's right.....fabric softener is supposed to SOFTEN your FABRICS. I then proceeded to run around the house, forcing my beach towels of heaven onto every member of my family,.......more than once.........making them feel them, touch them, smell them, hold them, and generally go Ga-Ga over them like I did. Life has changed. I went straight to the store to buy my own jumbo sized tub of perfection and have routinely been fabric softening every piece of washable thing in my house. You people need to do the same.
Good Advice #2: Sugary cereal is a healthy meal. I grew up in a household that rarely to NEVER bought such things. Grape Nuts and Corn Flakes were the choices around that place with a very rare Frosted Mini Wheats thrown in. No offense to the Visors (we DID have a candy cupboard don't get me wrong) but it just wasn't happening. I lamented my lack of sugary morning goodness every time I saw a commercial for Lucky Charms. I drooled as I gazed into my sleepover friend's pantry at her selection of Fruit Loops and Coco Puffs. Could I spend the night here
every night? After venturing out on my own to my freshmen year at BYU, my main meal staple was, in fact, Lucky Charms in the Morris Center. Breakfast, Lunch, AND Dinner. Landee and Flem can attest to this very thing. It's like I went on a sugary cereal binge for a good 3-4 years. I tell you this because I've been on both ends of the breakfast cereal spectrum. And now that I am older (only a little) and wiser (fer super duh) I've come to a balance. And that balance is this: they have fortified the crap outta those cereals these days. Yes, there is some sugar (stop glaring at me Flem). And yes, there could be a better choice for breakfast. But lets be honest. A four year old sitting at my kitchen table, thoroughly enjoying his Honey Combs and milk, .......quietly......... while those vitamins sneak into his little system is alright with me I say.
You know the drill then. Hit me.
Well, actually it began way before this cuz we are literal blood related and stuff. But this is where "it" all started. The phenomenon that IS Landee and Memzy BFF (that's "Best Frousins Forever). It's her official 3-4 beeday today and I had to let her no, in no uncertain terms, that I heart her long time. Whether kickin it in the dorms with that ancient computer and even a "paper" planner on the desk, .................or discussing Windex vs. 409 after kid spills. She will always be my Best Frousin Forever.
