A future in law enforcement

Prescool field trip yo

TUNE IN TUESDAY

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful. -- Hindu/Buddha Guy


I'm trying to embrace this quote you gize. Trying soooper hard. Cuz this is what I've needed for the last 3 days. Which leads me to this:

Good Advice #1: If you feel the slightest cold coming on rush straight to your garage (if you've listened to my past advice you would already have bought yourself an industrial size package of tissues) or superstore to stock EVERY ROOM in your house with kleenex. I'm very serious about this. Cuz when you having a raging case of fever-chills-achy-sneezing-coughing-restless-nose-faucet, you never know when you might need to grab for the 29,765,467,889,965,434,226th tissue before that snot hits your shirt,.......or the bed..........or the carpet. Muscle through the grossness with me here. I admit there is nothing glamorous about snot. But everybody has it sometimes. No avoiding it. And sometimes OTHER people can't even avoid your snot. Don't think I didn't see my husbands face when he arrived home to find our house littered with little white snot rags that me (and my other two children who inevitable got this cold) had used and deposited wherever our little hands would lay them. Poor guy. Lucky for me he likes me and stuff. The good-ish news is that I am on my way out of the cold. Now I only have two more kids to get through it. And I never ran out of kleenex.

Good Advice #2: Don't take it personally. When I say "it" I mean, of course, what your children might say innocently that is, in fact, a MAJOR insult. For example, I limp down the hallway the other morning at the peak of my cold and make my way to the couch. My oldest turns around to ask me a question. But before he can get the words out he recoils in horror and exclaims, "Wow mom are you OK? You have major bags under your eyes........all over actually." He was obviously concerned for me you gize. Or, not too long ago, my hubby and kids were dropping me off at the "Hair Guy" cuz our other car was in the shop. I mentioned that I needed to color my hair. My boys all responded shockingly that I wha? I calmly showed them my roots and how my loverly "HG" colors them for me since I had YOU babies and my hair got darker. Now on a regular basis my 4 year old reminds me, "Mom you need to go to the hair store today." Me: "Why is that Char?" Him: "Cuz your hair is getting all black up there" He really is just looking out for my fashion sense people. It's like my own little personal What Not To Wear.

It's your turn. And might I add the "Tune In Tuesday" gods were looking down on us. So lucky, your are, that I got better just in the nick of time.

Cooking with Clara: Episode 3 - Homemade Hot Fudge Sauce

Well hello blue eyes, fancy meeting you here on my carpet. She yuvs me. "Now Auntie Memz, we aren't going to do this AGAIN today are we? I mean, it's fun for awhile having a big black thing pointed at my face but............."

"So you were serious? Cuz I thought I made it clear."

Ok, so I must respect a babies wishes. But it never helps to have something yummy smelling brewing in the kitchen right? I received an interesting text recently that said something along the lines of "I didn't know you were into cooking and stuff....." yadda yadda. I would like to make it clear right here and now that I don't like to cook. I like to BAKE. Big difference. It's all about the desserts people. The perfect hook up, for me, with hot fudge is a brownie and some vanilla bean ice cream.

I'm salivating..........again. Hey did you gize know that Clara has a sibling? She has two actually. I present to you Liesl.

I know you can't tell they are related or anything. And ps. they look EXACTLY like their mama. Facebook can prove that. So I've heard.

Well, there is a certain maintenance required in keeping up the chubby cheekedness. It takes work. You've gotta feed that girl if you wanna keep those cheeks fluffy and soft. And I do. So I did. I think today's meal was blueberry yogurt.

"More please Auntie Memz." (and if not she will yell at you so have that spoon ready.)

"Oh yeeeeeah,............that's good stuff"

"Hey Auntie Memz,.........is there something on my face?"

So here you go. The recipe for........

HOME MADE HOT FUDGE

Melt: 1/2 cube butter (1/4 C) in small saucepan. Ad 2 squares unsweetened baking chocolate. When melted add and stir until chunky, 1 1/2 C sugar. Stir in slowly 1 sm can of canned milk (2/3 C). This is just plain canned milk, NOT sweetened condensed. Heat for 15 minutes on low until completely smooth.

Next time,...........zucchini bread.

TUNE IN TUESDAY

Just this morning my kid says to me, "Mom, you are the smartest person in the world." Now, granted I was just informing him which shoe goes on which foot but the boy has a point. Dontcha think? Kids have a sick sense about these things. And yes, I said "sick" on purpose instead of "sixth". Wordplay. I'm pretty much like a dictionary anyway,...........a Memzified one but still.

Are you gize still listening?

Good Advice #1: Don't ever try to buy a house slash move and expect to get any "normal life" stuff done successfully. It's UNpossible. I've half-heartedly convinced everyone around me that life is continuing forward as planned and just on the side I am trying to move. HA!! Using my smartness and good sense I decided to pretend no longer. Not only is my laundry behind, my children going hungry, and my quordy scores threatened,.......but I'm pretty sure I haven't wiped off my iphone screen in, like, 4 days. ::audible gasp from iphone users:: And..............come closer cuz I'm gonna whisper this one.........I haven't been to the gym in 4 days. I know, I know. And you gize know that I'm like in perfect shape and stuff. Practically an olympic athlete. (I shouldn't have to put the haha in there right?) My point is, that my brain is mush with all of the house possibilities bouncing around in there---we're at square one cuz the offer we made didn't "take"---and my body isn't exactly picking up the pieces where my brain's left off.

Good Advice #2: If you are staying at a Holiday Inn and happen to have a hankering for some Mickey Dee's......don't come dressed ONLY in your Holiday Inn robe.

Cuz this could be YOU you gize. I personally asked for a side of "What the H?!!" (and when I say "H" I mean "heck") with my nuggets when I saw this. But that's just me.

So it's your turn now. Hit me. And hit me hard cuz I need a challenge and stuff.

It's been a little weird

My blogging brain is all clouded up or something. I'm out of order and in a fog. So much going on IRL (that's In Real Life people) that I s'pose my brain got a virus or something. And when I say IRL I obviously mean what I watch on TV too. American Idol, Dateline NBC with the Octu-mom, etc. So, I thought I'd show you some images from the last few weeks that might be of interest to you.

I call this one: "Homer vs. Banana"This one: "Homer wins"
This: "Right?"


"Right"

This: "Not-used-to-staying-up-Boys Fall asleep"

And this: "The Others"

I hope you've enjoyed this little trip. Soon we will be back to our regularly scheduled programming.

TUNE IN TUESDAY

Lets face it. I am a Knowledge-arian. And with such knowledge I am here to smart-icate you. You need to know stuff that you don't yet. I already know stuff. It's quite the burden but I come here every week for my peeps. Cuz you gize deserve it. I'm here to serve. When we're helping we're happy.

Good advice #1: Buy in bulk. Nothing says, "I love my family" like a Sam's Club basket filled to the brim with XL tubs of peanut butter, refrigerator size boxes of cereal, and a dozen or so frozen/microwaveable "foods" for snacks or quick meals. These large discount stores are our friends. Lunchtime?.......grab a slice of pizza and a coke for wha?--$1.99!!!!! (or a hot dog if you're feeling it). As you peruse the aisles of such a glorious establishment, don't forget to head back to the bakery for a free cookie for you kiddo from the cookie club. I mean, I didn't even NEED 32 boxes of Kleenex at the time. I needed ONE. But I bought all 32 and guess what? Cracker had a cold last week with a sooper runny nose. Went straight through what would have been only one measly little tiny box of tissues. All I did was say, "Hey Cracker, let me head out to the garage and get you a box of Kleenex." Bam. Boom. My absolute fave tho is when I hear my hubby grumbling in the bathroom because he ran outta shampoo..........and I magically appear with a filled-to-the-brim brand spanking new one. Hubby: "Hey I'm out of deodorant. Would you mind picking some up at the store for me?" Me: "No problem" ::walking in 3.2 seconds later with new stick of deodorant:: You are suddenly the most amazing mom/wifey in the world.

Good Advice #2: If something isn't working for you---BREAK UP WITH IT. I decided a long time ago that no matter how many people told me how great crunchy peanut butter was,....it just wasn't doing it for me. I looked my JIF chunky square in the eye and told it bye-bye forever. I think that particular jar of peanut butter took it pretty well actually. And there are many more people out there to show love to chunky. I'm just not one of them. Same goes for cheap toilet paper. I tried, really I did. At only 1/3 of the price it's hard not to WANT to like the store brand tissue-paper-on-a-roll that they sell at your local store. But try and try as I may to make that relationship work,...............it just petered out. My affection for the pennies-saved slowly dwindled as my hiney took the brunt of such a choice. So me and my hiney had a little chat with the TP. Now most recently I had a difficult breakup. I woke up one morning last week and looked in the mirror to find my hair and I had grown apart. Well, it had actually grown down but you get what I'm saying. How the HECK did my hair get that long? Anybody? Well, it just wasn't working for me. Split ends, extra styling time, limp locks............all of these were ruining our relationship. So, I had a very gentle, and loving, "it's not you is ME" talk with my hair,......then went running down to my hair "guy" to make it official. See? All better.

Now it's your turn. Consider yourself advice-icated.

Fave fotog fridee

Do you hear the sarcasm oozing from my voice?

Cooking with Clara: Episode 2 - Lemon Cake

Guess who was sooooo happy/essited to play at her Auntie Memzy's house?

I can't deny it you gize. My camera literally LEAPS into my hands when this kid is around. It's UNpossible for me not to get on the floor and start snapping. Well we've already decided (when I say "we" I mean me and Clara of course) that hers lurves coming to hang out with me. Hence, a happy baby. And since we've already decided (in this case "we" means me and the rock in my pocket) that baking desserts is far superior than actual nutrition...........it was time to bake!!!

Today's baking will include one of our fave recipes for lemon cake, courtesy of Aunt Visor and her lemon tree. Don't fret I'll give you the deets at the bottom. The whole recipe for your enjoyment. But catch a peek here.............Ooooooh moistness
Whilst the lemon cake is baking and wafting all hopes I had of staying low on calories, I was pretty much on the floor doing what I do with Clara. My sis says I'm obsessed. Well....

Char: Hey mom. Mom.......hey mom.... ::tapping microphone:: Is this thing on? You know, I'M here too by the way.
Me: Right Spiderman, I gotcha. But just hang on a second.

Oooooooh...........It hurts. Make it stop.


Char: My Spidey powers are being affected by her cuteness mom. I'm feeling weak.


Clara: Blahphew.....thsoooottthhh..........huh?

Char: Should I flex my Spidey muscles? Will that stave off the infection of the cuteness condition? (and make you take pictures of me too?)

Clara is painfully unaware of the affect she has. Sort of inconsiderate of her dontcha think?

Char: I'm...............fading...............can't................hold on..............

Clara: Wha? What'd I do?

Listen, I completely understand if you gize are bored by this stuff. I mean, pic after pic of blue eyes and velvet skin over pudgy cheeks. It's perfectly understandable.

Wait, I take that back. If you don't like to look at these you are officially dead inside.

In other news, the cake came out of the oven. This is my favorite part.

THE CRUST.

If socially acceptable, I could eat around the outside of that cake pan and nothing else. And now for the recipe. Thanks for tuning in and next time: Homemade Hot Fudge

Aunt Visor's Lemon Cake

1 lemon cake mix

1 small pkg lemon jello

4 eggs

3/4 C cold water

3/4 C oil

Mix in food processor for 1 min. Pour into greased 9x13 glass pan. Bake for 40-60 minutes at 350 degrees. Frosting: 1 box powdered sugar, lemon juice to runny consistency. Poke holes in cake with a large fork when hot out of the oven. Drizzle glaze over cake. Try not to inhale. That can affect your breathing.

TUNE IN TUESDAY

There are people with "book smarts", people with "IQ smarts", people with "street smarts", and then there's people with all of them.  That's me you gize.  I've got alls the smawts there is.  So, having said that, I have good advice to give you.  Listen up.

Good Advice #1:  PMS is very real.  Don't let anyone tell you differently.  Accept it.  Embrace it.  Commit to it.  There is no use fighting it.  I've got the PMS-ers.  And not the downy-dumps kind (which is also very common) but the "rip your head off" kind.  So very carefully I stepped away from the kitchen last night where my 10 year old was baking his own cookies (ie. flour everywhere, used twice as many eggs as necessary, dishes piling up), my 4 year old was yelling at his bigger brother to "pyeeese help me get to the next yevel!", my 8 year old was laughing VERY out loud at his book "Diary of a Wimpy Kid"..............and walked quietly down the hall to my bedroom (and when I say quietly I mean that very, very loosely),........shut the door, locked it, curled up in a ball on my bed, grabbing my fave pillow and, pressing it firmly to my face.........screamed my head off until I was out of breath.  See?  I accepted that I was going to hurt one of my children if I stayed in that room.  I embraced my body physically stomping off to my bedroom.  And I committed to the scream that was creeping up through my throat.  ::big deep breath::  All better now.  

Good Advice #2:  Desserts  overrule any other blunder you might make.  They are the deposit in the bank of tummies that can cover any withdrawals.  They are the cheese to my macaroni.  Example:  I did not cook a single edible meal last week.  I was also behind 4 days in laundry duty (no socks or underwear for my boys you gize---janky).  My hubby also took all the kids out for lunch and a little field trip with Tony and his boys and Uncle Gus for hours so me and Jespy and Aunt Mary could eat real food and play a rousing game of Skip Bo.  How did I get away with such pleasures?  Answer: Spicy Molasses Cookies, Homemade Cinny Rolls, Hot fudge brownie sundaes (homemade hot fudge you gize--recipe to come soon), and a shot of root beer floats (IBC root bear fer duh).  

Now it's your turn peeps.  I've got your back.  Super loyal.  Go.

Grocery shopping