Sunday, May 23, 2010

Yin and Yang

Or it's yang and yin, I'm not sure which way that's sposed to go. Either way, there is a vast difference in the activities that go on in our family. Most of the time I feel like that song from Sesame Street should be playing as a general sound track to my life...."which one of these is not like the other". And during that song you'd see Brady Bunch style pics of each of the four males in my life and then there'd be me. Only thing lacking in that scenario is the general sounds and, er, smells that would go along with that song. (Don't be fooled those sounds and smells would include me. Sounds being the shouting "REALLY?!! Those dirty clothes were left on your floor AGAIN. REALLY?" But the smells would only be flowers and fruity stuff.)

Anyway, despite that we are actually pretty well rounded over here. Did you gize know that math was a sport? I know. I think they are petitioning for the olympics or something like that. Here is Brains at his very first Math Field Day with some of his besties (who are also well rounded I should add).

And these stinky, full of raging hormones and messy roomed boys (tho I can only speak for one of them) even get trophies for winning math relays! They even look sweaty, you gize. Math. Is. Hard.
So, here's where the Yang comes in....again. Or was is the Yin?

I consider myself a pretty logical person. I'm organized, keep my house fairly clean, look both ways before I cross the road,......ALWAYS wear my seatbelt,.....I even use hand sanitizer on the regulah.

At the same time I can let it all hang out. I can get c.r.a.z.y. Throwing away my soda cans without recycling them sometimes. Only shaving my legs once a week for church. I've even run a red light or two. But something about this just feels wrong.
I mean, do you gize see it?
Yeah, I'm getting that tickling sensation in my armpits that signals something. My breathing is speeding up and I predict a violent gush of sweat coming on. (my armpits really suffer as a mom, you gize)

But, I'm outnumbered. Even tho math is hard I know that 4 is way more than 1. And, specifically the adult in that number of males has quite a large vote. The BBguns have been screaming from the garage for his "men".
Don't they look so happy on that beautiful day up in Tehachapi? Almost like they were out on a stroll or a leisurely hike, right? Do not be fooled. They have ::whisper:: guns.

At least one of my offspring has a tiny bit of his mama in him. This particular one stuck with the much safer wrist rocket. Much safer. Right?

There were rools tho. And to his credit, their padre taught them and reminded them of those rools a lot.
Of course, that could have been because of the whimpering and sudden shrieking that the sweaty pitted girl was doing. ::pointing to self::
As an aside here, did you notice that I have a 16 yr old? Yeah, me neither.

It was actually a beautiful day. Which I only notice now in the pictures since I was.....preoccupied at the moment.
I really envy them tho. I mean, imagine going through your day in a world where this makes sense. That's gotta be a happy place.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Hello Interweb, It's me, Memzy

I think me and the world wide web are in a fight. You could cut the tension with a butter knife you gize. But I'm not freaking out. Every relationship goes thru it's ups and downs. Me and the internet machine are just gonna ride this one out. So until I get my mojo back I wanted to show you this gem from Open House night at the boys school the other day.


Brains self portrait:
I hope that parents/teachers/the principal weren't offended when I out loud laughed when I saw this. (Brains was no where near FYI) Let's just say I picked it out right away. And this confirms his claim that kids call him Unicorn Boy at school, which he completely embraces as a nickname. I think he pretty much came out the birth canal with hair like this. It made for quite a difficult labor.


Cracker's Chess trophy:




Wha?!!!!? The Chess coach came into his classroom and awarded it to him. Our school didn't have a chess club this year so she came from a different school to give it. This kid's been having a hard time lately. So let's just say it was a HUGE "happy" for him that day. Apparently after only one tournament his chess rating is "phenomenal" (those are her words, not mine). So I'm pretty much Braggy Braggersoning about him. In all your faces. Btw, his school is having an "Apple Valley" theme right now and have to dress up in those old timey clothes. Which explains the outfit. In case you were wondering.

K, so the computer and I have a date later this weekend to try to "mend our relationship". I have lots more to post if we can get it together.


Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I was basically living in the dark ages

You know, my whole 13 1/2 years of married life I've baked cookies and cakes and even ::gasp:: bread dough without one of these:

Happy Mother's Day to meeeeeee!!! Total sprise. Not that I've hinted at, whined about, or begged for one in the past tho. Look how she glistens and shines there atop my counter.

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And that is where Lola will stay (yup, I've named her LOLA) onnacuzza she weighs a ginormillion pounds and this "no lifting" rule kinda prohibits for a while. Here is another angle. I aim to please you gize.

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Shed totally rooled M-day this year. It's like this Mother's Day is to all other Mother's Day's as the running man is to all forms of dance. ::nodding our heads in the I-get-it way::

On another side yet equally interesting slash funny note: I'm allowed to walk now for exercise. Imagine my excitement as I hit the gym and jump on the treadmill (and when I say jump I mean gingerly step up) and punch in 2.5 mph right?!! (not sensing the sarcasm are you) I walked for 45 minutes. It's almost yet not even the same as a real workout!! I stomped my feet (and when I say stomped I mean tapped my toe delicately) and complained to Shed that these workouts were lamerz and why even take the time. And just to give you an idea on just how out of shape I am at this point, I did that first "workout" two days ago..............and now I can barely move. I'm SORE from WALKING.

I share this with those of YOU whom I will be seeing sometime soon and want to give you fair warning that my hiney has.....how you say?..............grown.

kthanksdontjudgebye

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Drumroll Please

Gize guess what?!!

My little baby sis had her fourth kid on Sunday. His name is

Graham Noble Cris Larkin
(after two grandpas in the middle yo--and I hope I spelled it right)

I was there to take pics and help. Look how totally helpful I was you gize.

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The short of the long is that she was in labor over 20 hours with no progresso. Cut to (pun intended) the necessary C-section. Hence this outfit.

Then, within moments there was this:
And this:

Have mercy. It hurts.


Could you die at that daddy's face?
Oh boy.
Um. Single tear.
::insert sucking on hand noises here::
::insert gramma goo-goo voice here::

Good heavens. Someone make me stop!

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And in conclusion I have this poem:

Ovaries/Uterus
Don't lament
Don't cry for me
I'll borrow him
The End

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