Tune In Tuesday

My house is a mess you gize. Boxes everywhere. Piles of trash. Piles
of "take to the Goodwill". We are moving everyone. In like just over a
week. So, due to that, and my complete inability to keep my normal
life going, I only have one brief advice for you today. Still send me
your questions tho. Thanks to my iPhone I can multitask at least that
part.

GOOD ADVICE #1: Don't let one of the books your kid takes to bed at
night be a mega sticker book. He'll wake up looking like this....

TUNE IN TUESDAY

Don't pretend I don't know stuff.  Accept it.  Embrace it.  Enjoy it.

Good Advice #1:  Don't buy your kids stupid toys.  I realize that is a fairly general statement.  But as I am preparing to move in the next few weeks I've done quite a bit of "purging" to closets, toy baskets, what have you.  And,.......have MERCY..........what was I thinking?  Let's jump back in time to our youth and take a peek at some of those toys of our generation.  The "My Buddy" doll.  An over sized doll designed for boys without friends.  Ironically, owning a My Buddy doll would ensure that such a boy remained friendless.  Or how about "GoBots", the uncool kids version of Transformers.  "Switchblade combs"?  For the hood in training.  What about Teddy Ruxpin?  The creepy animatronic stuffed bear.  Now, I won't tell you some of the toys I found in my house and am ashamed of.  But lets just say they rival some of these gems.  So think twice before you purchase a toy/gadget for you kids.  You don't want it to the be the "Sit 'N Spin" of their generation.

Good Advice #2:  Don't try to give advice when you are tired and grumpy and your compy has a cold (running slow).  It doesn't come off well.

Your turn!!!!  Give me your questions gize.  I can't wait to answer! (after a good night sleep and sending my computer to bed with some "nyquil" I'm totally ready)

  

It's inevitable I guess

For babies to growd up. My little baby BFF is actually turning 1 on Sunday. I think she's excited about it. My sis asked if I'd document the occasion with a trip to the park and some matching Easter outfits. And look what happened.
She's standing you gize...................and walking too. The gall.

Big sis came along with her.

She sorta likes Clara too.

How mean of her mommy to put rubber bands on her thighs like that.

Matching bow bow's even.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think her eyes are even BLUEer outside. No?

Happy Birthday to my baby BFF!!!

Cooking with Clara: Episode 5 - Chocolate Florentine Sandwich cookies

I heard some of you are dieting/cutting back on calories. For those people I sincerely apologize for this post that will inevitably make you fall off the wagon..................while it's going really fast...............and then you'll face plant into the proverbial dirt that is/are these cookies.

There she is.

Just look at her.

All cute and happy and stuff.

Hers is ripping off her bow bow's. I repositioned it like 11teen times but she would always pull it back off. ::big huge huff/sigh for baby girls::

My sis said she was tired. Might be cranky. Needing a nap. Whatever.

So here I am focusing on those chubby little feet. And wrinkly skin.

And in the meantime I look up to see this.


Uh-oh. There's that blankie again. PLUS the thumb.



Double uh-oh. She's found the CARPET now. That nice soft carpet with the extra padding.

So, I'm just gonna jump up into the kitchen and bang around some pots and pans. Did I mention my sis wanted me to try to keep her awake for the "real" nap time?
That worked for a while. But soon she was doing some of this.

She's going.
Going.

Gone.

Dang. Well, I guess I can stare at these for a while.

You gize don't really want the recipe do you?

Cuz then you'd have to EAT them. I can hear you shouting at me now. "Don't do it!! Don't do it!! We aren't strong enough!"

In that case:

CHOCOLATE FLORENTINE SANDWICH COOKIES

2/3 C butter

2 C quick oats

1 C granulated sugar

2/3 C flour

1/4 C corn syrup (light or dark)

1/4 C milk

1 tsp vanilla

1/4 tsp salt

2 C chocolate of your choosing (obviously not white chocolate cuz we all know that isn't real)

Melt butter. Add oats, granulated sugar, flour, corn syrup, milk, vanilla and salt. Mix well. Drop by level teaspoon about 3 inches apart onto foil-lined baking sheets. Bake in preheated 375 degree oven for 6-8 minutes or until golden brown. Cool completely on baking sheets on wire racks. Peel foil from cookies.

Microwave chocolate at 70% power for 1 minute and stir. Microwave at additional 10-20 second intervals, stirring until smooth. Spread thin layer of melted chocolate onto flat side of half the cookies. Top with remaining cookies, placing flat side against chocolate.

Don't hate me because they're irresistible you gize.

TUNE IN TUESDAY

This is HUGE you gize! I have been lucky enough to convince the very famous Uncle Visor (my dad you people) to be a very special guest contributor on AskMemzy this week. Now you can see where I get some of my smarts from. With no further adieu....


I feel very honored to be invited to be a guest contributor to “Ask Memzy”. I only hope that my wisdom, wit and other stuff reaches her high standards of guidance to the needy. I thought that I would provide some basic “do’s and don’ts” that will help you on your journey down the bumpy road of everyday life. So here we go.



DO
*Eat chocolate in some form every 48 hours (except white chocolate which is just wrong)
*Download scriptures on to your iPhone (this justifies part of the cost)
*Burn more calories than you take in 6 days a week. (even God rests on the 7th day)
*Be kind to your neighbor—chew gum or take breath mints on the first Sunday of each month.
*Reduce your carbon footprint (if you can’t shrink your feet, don’t step in any ashes)
*Avoid any actions or conditions that would cause you to eat hospital food.



DON’T
*End a sentence with a preposition. (This is something up with which I will not put)
*Take cell phone pictures of people sleeping in church
*Covet thy neighbors’ stuff. (Stuff isn’t all it’s cracked up to be)
*Eat Brussels sprouts (ever)
*Take alternative exits from escalators

I have found that many people have a favorite number. Without arguing the relative merits of favorite numbers I simply offer the following. My brother was born on 4/4/44. Want to guess his lucky number? Personally, the number 8 has been my favorite for about 50 years. It may not be coincidental that my sweet wife and I were married on 8/8/69 (we didn’t want to wait until ’88). I wrote a poem in honor of the number 8 many years ago.


ODE TO EIGHT
Of all the numbers I contemplate,
I clearly favor the figure eight,
Whose curvy contours provide the fun,
That’s never found in the number one.
Or in a slouchy, saggy six,
Or other digits none of which,
Can be such a decisive tool,
As eight, when playing games of pool.
A nine, its true, may be worth more,
Than eight, but in the final score,
Everyone can surely see,
A sideways eight is infinity.


Uncle Visor—over and out.

Please feel free to ask your questions We are here for you.

He's like the next Brandon Bybee

Yeah, I don't know who that is either. But when I googled "famous snowboarder" he came up here.

He's totally Mormon yo!

We were able to finally take a Saturday and go up to the snow like we've been promising the kids formyever. We grabbed some last minute snow gear and headed up to Alta Sierra an hour and a half away. I'll admit................I was not looking forward to this. Every experience I've had at ski resorts has been bitter cold and stressful and blah, blah, blah. I was expecting the worst. But I was so WRONG-O. It was the best!!

It was sunny and warm and there were tubing hills that you didn't have to even climb. The little rope pulling thingy did all the work for you. Brains was considering this particular activity full of lame sauce cuz he's so cool and stuff. But neither Shed nor myself wanted to get on the slopes. It was supposed to be a family activity day yo. But guess who saves the day but Molly and Scott!!! They took some time on their break from work (at least that's what I'm assuming they did instead of playing hookie) and took him snowboarding.

So, Brains is completely GiftedAndTalented when it comes to this. He took one lesson two Christmases ago up in Utah and then cut to this day. Total natural. It's all that skateboarding/ripsticking he does in the culdesac. And thank you Molly for wearing your neon green snow pants that day. I could spot you gize all the way up the hill.
What cute snow bunnies right? (Scott obviously being the head male rabbit and stuff--Scott-el-rah)


Here is Brains on the right cutting some curves, and Scotty on the left approaching a jump.

I don't know that he coulda been happier/felt more cool.

Check out the foxy girl herself.

This dood was here too btw. Eating snow and Frito's from the "Warming Hut".

I officially love this place. We saw Shed's partner and wife that own the place and shared some lounge chairs right next to the run. Me with my diet coke in hand of course.



I painfully regret not getting my camera out of the car sooner and taking pics of Cracker in his snow gear. The cutest mini-Shed you've ever seen. Just try to picture it in your head instead. Anyway, thankees to Scott and Molly for such a fun day!!!
Lurved it.

TUNE IN TUESDAY

Listen, I realized there are other sites out there that give advice. Being your own person to peruse the internet, you have the freedom to choose just which site you go to for that advice. Take for example this site. NO WHERE on that site is there a "expert from a cool, smart, oldish yet youngish mom and homemaker" category. Sure, you can find out how they fly helicopters straight into hurricanes,...........or ask Wendell everything you need to know about science. But lets be realistic people. You don't care about that stuff. Which is why you come here. And THIS stuff is good:

Good Advice #1: At some point in life you have to outgrow things. For example, Saying "Like" All the Time. It's like, really annoying, when people say it, like, all the time. But then like, you're talking to this person who is like doing it, and you're like suppressing the urge to like totally laugh in their face. Or Pinky Swearing. For some reason your pinky is a much more trustworthy part of your body? Cuz no one ever breaks a pinky swear. EVER. Or how about Horseplay? Even tho it's tempting (cuz basically anything they tell you not to do by a pool is inherently funny). We just have to get to the point in our adult life where we realize---I'm past that now. The like-pinky-swearing-horseplay is in my past. Let's leave it there.

Good Advice #2: It's always good to exercise your ability to be serious in situations that call for it. I find this harder to do lately now that my hubby is sitting with me in church. You gize probably know what a "cut-up" that dood is. And, as of late, has been "on his game" so to speak in the humor department. A good example of my need to exercise this comes every Sunday during sacrament. Our kids will say something or Shed will remember a funny/silly story and decide at that very moment to tell it to me. Now, sacrament meeting isn't the best place to get the giggles. Just ask JennyESP about that sometime. It can get embarrassing. So, I've decided,.........(and by so doing have advised YOU to do the same)......to practice my "serious face". I thought I could do this during the week in normal, everyday situations. Like, try to call someone "foxy" with a straight face. Or explain to your visiting teacher that you'll have to call her back because your children are currently in fisticuffs while their spittle is flying and you'll have to solve the kerfuffle first before you can schedule her to come for a visit..........again without laughing. It's good practice. By next Sunday, I'll be ready for anything Shed can throw at me. Now you try it. I'm here for you my peeps. What have you to ask me today?

Cooking with Clara: Episode 4 - Zucchini Bread (featuring special guests "The Visor's")

Hi,....my name is Clara. And I'm addicted to my gramma. And I'M the one who gets to have her right now. Don't come any closer. This is my gramma lap. And you can't have any of it.
Have I made myself clear? That's right. Just keep on moving.

And btw, I've requested that my mom surgically attach my blankie to my body. Don't even think about it.

Alright, alright, jeeez, Clara. I'll just stay over here in the kitchen with my Zucchini bread.
Aaaaaaaaaah. Zuke bread.
Look at these powdered sugar covered pieces of heaven.

Hey Auntie Memz! I'm ready for my close-up.

Such a diva.

Remember when you had toddlers in your house? And you had to move all of those breakable/spill able/make-a-mess-able stuff from those bottom cupboards? Well every other Tuesday..............I'm there.

Somebody's learned some new tricks. Not only is there some standing up goings on but there is also a lot of cupboard opening.....

Some "exploring" of sorts......

SUCCESS!!...............

Back to this veggie bread. You should know that this isn't really a "bread". It's more like a dessert really. EMat was having some reservations about the zucchini. Let me assure you,........I don't eat zucchini,...............EVER. I don't like it. Never have. Just ask Aunt Visor. But if you'll click on this picture down below you will notice that you can barely even see it. It's like it's not even there. Unless you want to count it as a serving of veggies for your diet then be my guest. Not that I've done that or anything.

And while I'm slaving in the kitchen....(cut to picture of me disheveled, in an apron, with flour on my face Lucille Ball style)........look what these hooligans are doing.

::sigh:: A bakers work is never done.

ZUCCHINI BREAD (DESSERT)

3 eggs

2 1/4 C sugar

1 C oil

3 tsp vanilla

3 C flour

1 tsp baking soda

1 1/2 tsp salt

3 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp baking powder

2 C finely grated zucchini (about 2 zucchini)

Cream eggs and sugar. Add oil and vanilla and mix well. Put all dry ingredients together and add to wet mixture. It will seem dry but then stir in zucchini. Butter and powdered sugar (not flour) two bread pans and fill with mixture. Bake at 325 for 50-55 minutes. Just after they are removed from oven, sprinkle powdered sugar over the loaves. (I like to smear it on every inch with a spoon but that's just me)

TUNE IN TUESDAY

This is my IQ score you gize. I took this test last night. And we all know that whatever you read on the Internet is TRUE.

Here's what that little score up there might mean to you:

Over 140 - Genius or near genius
120 - 140 - Very superior intelligence
110 - 119 - Superior intelligence
90 - 109 - Normal or average intelligence
80 - 89 - Dullness
70 - 79 - Borderline deficiency
Under 70 - Definite feeble-mindedness

So basically, you came to the right place. I'm a genius. And now the Internet has proven that. In more ways than one.

Good advice #1: Let's all embrace the "Comfortable Silences". Let's face it......after a very long day/week of kids slamming doors, testing out their new "alarm system", running into each other full force which results in weeping and wailing, kids arguments that escalate to volume 11 about who's turn it is to take out the trash, Spongebob blaring from the TV, trumpet "practice", and the phone ringing, (to mention just a few)..............it's all about the quiet time. Who says you gotta sit and talk the evening away with your hubby once the kids are in bed? Just lie on the couch-slash-bed and stare up at the ceiling. Slowly allowing your brain to coagulate into a calm jelly-like form. Perfectly acceptable. I'm telling you,.......it's my sensitivity to sound that has prevented me from having any more kids. Well, that and the fact that my womb literally screams and hides in defense whenever a baby is near.

Good advice #2: Opposite day rules. We should all write our local congressman and make this an official holiday. Who wouldn't love to have ONE day a year where we get to shower with our clothes on, wear shoes on our hands, drive backwards down the wrong side of the road, have our kids do what we ask them to, have cashiers pay us when we buy items, lose weight by eating Hot Fudge Sundaes, and have our husbands do the cooking. Opposite day rules!

Anyway, if you people don't follow my advice you are on a one way track to Nowheresville. The genius meter says so.

What can I help you with?

A future in law enforcement

Prescool field trip yo

TUNE IN TUESDAY

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful. -- Hindu/Buddha Guy


I'm trying to embrace this quote you gize. Trying soooper hard. Cuz this is what I've needed for the last 3 days. Which leads me to this:

Good Advice #1: If you feel the slightest cold coming on rush straight to your garage (if you've listened to my past advice you would already have bought yourself an industrial size package of tissues) or superstore to stock EVERY ROOM in your house with kleenex. I'm very serious about this. Cuz when you having a raging case of fever-chills-achy-sneezing-coughing-restless-nose-faucet, you never know when you might need to grab for the 29,765,467,889,965,434,226th tissue before that snot hits your shirt,.......or the bed..........or the carpet. Muscle through the grossness with me here. I admit there is nothing glamorous about snot. But everybody has it sometimes. No avoiding it. And sometimes OTHER people can't even avoid your snot. Don't think I didn't see my husbands face when he arrived home to find our house littered with little white snot rags that me (and my other two children who inevitable got this cold) had used and deposited wherever our little hands would lay them. Poor guy. Lucky for me he likes me and stuff. The good-ish news is that I am on my way out of the cold. Now I only have two more kids to get through it. And I never ran out of kleenex.

Good Advice #2: Don't take it personally. When I say "it" I mean, of course, what your children might say innocently that is, in fact, a MAJOR insult. For example, I limp down the hallway the other morning at the peak of my cold and make my way to the couch. My oldest turns around to ask me a question. But before he can get the words out he recoils in horror and exclaims, "Wow mom are you OK? You have major bags under your eyes........all over actually." He was obviously concerned for me you gize. Or, not too long ago, my hubby and kids were dropping me off at the "Hair Guy" cuz our other car was in the shop. I mentioned that I needed to color my hair. My boys all responded shockingly that I wha? I calmly showed them my roots and how my loverly "HG" colors them for me since I had YOU babies and my hair got darker. Now on a regular basis my 4 year old reminds me, "Mom you need to go to the hair store today." Me: "Why is that Char?" Him: "Cuz your hair is getting all black up there" He really is just looking out for my fashion sense people. It's like my own little personal What Not To Wear.

It's your turn. And might I add the "Tune In Tuesday" gods were looking down on us. So lucky, your are, that I got better just in the nick of time.

Cooking with Clara: Episode 3 - Homemade Hot Fudge Sauce

Well hello blue eyes, fancy meeting you here on my carpet. She yuvs me. "Now Auntie Memz, we aren't going to do this AGAIN today are we? I mean, it's fun for awhile having a big black thing pointed at my face but............."

"So you were serious? Cuz I thought I made it clear."

Ok, so I must respect a babies wishes. But it never helps to have something yummy smelling brewing in the kitchen right? I received an interesting text recently that said something along the lines of "I didn't know you were into cooking and stuff....." yadda yadda. I would like to make it clear right here and now that I don't like to cook. I like to BAKE. Big difference. It's all about the desserts people. The perfect hook up, for me, with hot fudge is a brownie and some vanilla bean ice cream.

I'm salivating..........again. Hey did you gize know that Clara has a sibling? She has two actually. I present to you Liesl.

I know you can't tell they are related or anything. And ps. they look EXACTLY like their mama. Facebook can prove that. So I've heard.

Well, there is a certain maintenance required in keeping up the chubby cheekedness. It takes work. You've gotta feed that girl if you wanna keep those cheeks fluffy and soft. And I do. So I did. I think today's meal was blueberry yogurt.

"More please Auntie Memz." (and if not she will yell at you so have that spoon ready.)

"Oh yeeeeeah,............that's good stuff"

"Hey Auntie Memz,.........is there something on my face?"

So here you go. The recipe for........

HOME MADE HOT FUDGE

Melt: 1/2 cube butter (1/4 C) in small saucepan. Ad 2 squares unsweetened baking chocolate. When melted add and stir until chunky, 1 1/2 C sugar. Stir in slowly 1 sm can of canned milk (2/3 C). This is just plain canned milk, NOT sweetened condensed. Heat for 15 minutes on low until completely smooth.

Next time,...........zucchini bread.