Every one needs help...well except for me. Wait, I take that back. I need help helping you.
And if I don't help you there is a pretty good chance your life will fall apart. And no blame can be put on me because of your lack of asking for help.
Hey, you trust me right? You know I know what's best for you.
"Should I put on Ketchup or Mustard first?"
"Should I hang up that poster of the new "90210" cast or not?"
You've got questions,....I've got answers. I love to give advice.
Good Advice #1: After-Halloween sales are there for a reason. When you hear from someone that they sell black velvet capes in the adult costume section at Walmart, head over there PRONTO. Cuz now you will have your very own, full length cape for your next girls trip. Not a kid size version in bright red (not that I don't appreciate Landee's helpfulness there). Seattle Six Hollah!
Good Advice #2: When you are running on the treadmill with your ipod blasting Guster (Jenny woot woot) at the gym and you faintly hear the speakers call a name up to the front desk....don't ignore it. Cuz it is prolly your husband who is stranded at home since you accidentally took his keys in your purse to the gym that morning and you haven't answered the cell phone he's tried to call 11teen times.
Good Advice #3: Let's say you have a history of lower back issues and your back has felt really, er, "iffy"this past week, don't try to do the full weights on your dead lifts during your gym class. Cuz then you might throw your back out fer realz and be walking slightly crooked and hurting for the next few days. In the event you (or me) don't listen to this good advice, take ibuprofen every four hours and lay down as much as possible (preferrably catching up on TV shows).
So, as usual, it's your turn. Take it away my fellow blogsters and let the questions begin!!
25 comments:
What happens if you lower your weight during pump class and then your teacher yells, "Hey! I know you can do more than that! Why are you slacking? Loser!" By the way, I am merely looking for advice for others on this one. This, of course, has never happened to me!!
Good advice!!!! But I think I'll just stay clear of the gym for fear of total embarasment.
How do you invite your father-in-law and his new wife to Thanksgiving but politely decline to invite her son who is 38 years old, and has been living with them over a year, does'nt work, who has no friends, and is really weird? I feel it can't be done.
Dear AskMemzy,
I will be spending some quality time with a large portion of the Seattle Six over Thanksgiving. What could we do to make the remaining part of the SS sooooooperdeedoooperdee jealous? Photo shoots? Movie making? Phone calls?
I need to know.
Puffed Up in Denver
Vanessa--This is what you do. You smile at your teacher so sweetly and then yell (while smiling) "I know I can do more weight but I didn't want to make you feel bad cuz it woulda been soooo much more than you." Then wink.
Case--It can be done. It can be done. Do not lose hope. First, you call to incite the father in law and wife. Then right before you hang up say this really fast, "Oh, and by the way, we only have room at the table for normal adult people with real lives and real jobs. You know who I'm talking about. Kcanyoubringgreenbeansbye"
Puffed up in Denver--Firstly, you are already causing sooooperdeeedooper jealousy with your question. ::sniff:: ::pout:: But to make it WAY fun for your Thanksgiving crowd be sure to do all of those above (photo shoots, movie making, phone calls). We will live vicariously through you. ::slowly walking away with puppy dog eyes::
Dear Ask Memzy,
Will you please give me a good blogging topic for a new post?
MM--You should blog about your favorite story of your cool brother Shed growing up.
Dear AskMemzy, how do you deal with jealous feelings about a get together over Thanksgiving when a large portion of the Seattle Six will be there but you won't?
Thanks,
Just Wondering
Then there's the "outsiders" who aren't even PART of the Seattle Six. :0(
Hope your back feels better btw. I did something to mine when I was doing all the canning, and it still hasn't really recovered, so I feel your pain. Then, they gave us an area to hang door hangers on Saturday on the side of a hill. Every driveway was either straight up or straight down and really long. Ugh. We're WAY too old for that nonsense. We needed you youngsters to do the jogging up and down for us.
We survived and then negated all the calories we burned by going to Islands and getting giant hamburgers. ;0)
Dear Memzy,
What does "When children are present" really mean on school street signs? Does it mean when they are at school period or on the street before and after school. I just don't want a ticket.
Signed, safety minded in Bako
Dear memzy,
What appetizers should I make for the baby shower I am throwing tomorrow night?
Dear AM,
What should I blog about, and who should I vote for?
Thanks, IWasJustKiddingAboutThatSecondPart
Dear Memzy,
What do you do when you swore to yourself that you would eat healthy, then today went and got a Big Mac, when you don't really even like them, and then you ate the whole thing? And ordered the large fries just because you wanted the monopoly pieces, then ate the whole thing also.
signed,
Gorging out in Les Bois
I got this one Memzy: Dear gorged out in les bois. All you need to do is go into your bathroom. Turn on all the lights. Take off all your clothes, 'cept your undies, Stand on your counter so you can get a good look at your legs (that have always been invisible in the mirror before.) Your welcome, your candy addiction-I mean moment of weakness-cured. All the good candy is gone now anyways. Now who feels like working out?
Now my question: I have noticed that in a lot of scary 80's movies, they have changed out their normal bathroom light for a red one. Is this to make it more scary or to make them look better naked? If it is the latter, is there a portable red light that you know of?
Pasty in Les Bois.
Dear Just Wondering Cristin--My suggestion is to pretent it isn't happening and gorge yourself on Thanksgiving fixins and try not to answer your phone because it might be them calling and will remind you that you aren't there. That's what I'm gonna do. It's all about denial. ::teehee::
Thanks SamShelCo--My back will be fine I think. Just a normal even in the Shederton household.
Dear Safety minded in Bako--It means during the whole school day, even tho there are no kids out there (lamerz). So, I would suggest looking out for cops if you are gonna speed. I've seen lotsa peeps get pulled over before.
Queso--Don't throw a baby shower tomorrow night. Oh wait.....that wsn't your question. K, serve some sort of fancy artichoke dip cuz I know you have a reseepay for one of those.
Dear JESP--You should blog about your experience today at the polls (with pictures). And you should write in Mitt. And proclaim to everyone there that you did......and take pictures.
Dear Gorging in Le Boise--Katie has a good suggestion there. Another one is to not tell yourself you are gonna eat healthy. Then there is no disappointment after the BigMacMealMakeItaLarge.
Katie--Red lights at the party store. Let me know how it works.
Dear Memzy,
Since the election will be over in a just a few more hours, what's the best way to use some free time? I can't remember what that really is. Any ideas?
great advice as always. I order some prints of our pictures when they get here i will let you know. I found out how to do Kaylee's braid on a link from Cindy Boths blog. Super easy! I love that people are sharing all there secrets!!
Thanks for the great advice! I will make sure to add the wink. That always helps!! In fact, I think I'll wink at Aaron tonight and then ask if we can order pizza while we watch the election results. Winking usually works!!
Dear Kristi--Free time is something you may or may not have to do what you WANT to do at that moment. I know, it's the latest craze, I hear. My advice is to wait until midnight, then run through your neighborhood in your pajamas screaming, "The election is over! The election is over!" That should kick things into gear.
Christa--Please let me know when the prints come. I'd love to see them!
Vanessa--::wink wink::
What does one make for dinner when ones cupboards are bare and I can't muster up the motivation to go to the grocery store?
Emily--Order in pizza. That one was easy. Oh! And don't feel guilty about it. That's like a requirement and stuff.
Crazy, cuz I just wrote a post about my election experience (minus the pictures, though I did bring my camera and totally chickened out--worried it was against the rules and I'd get arrested or something), and then checked back here to see what you wanted me to write about and it's pretty much exactly the same. Twiners!
Allright Memsy, now that Obama is in charge, do we need to pull out our pioneer garb and start dusting off our 72-hour kits and planning our routes to Missouri?
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