Monday, May 30, 2011

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Sedona Final Chapter (Pink Jeep Offroad Tour, Hoover Damn, and Shark Reef)-- A list

1. Little boys are the hot fudge to my sundae,.....the fabric softener to my towels,......the pedicure to my summer sandals.  Basically, I couldn't live without them.

I especially love little boys when you are in the middle of nowhere and somebody "needs to go".

(No cactus were harmed in the relieving of this child)

2. Pink Jeep tours are not for sissy's.  Bring a padded behind (check), a camera strapped firmly to your person (check) and preteen boys screaming with delight (check, check, check).

(grandma's who giggle the whole way don't hurt either)

3.  Don't do you hair while in Sedona.  It's pointless.  The wind/breeze......oye.  Hence AV's........V (visor).

4. Hoover Damn is very educational.  Basically like home schooling.

5. The Las Vegas strip has more to offer than half naked ladies and gambling.

Why yes, it HAS been a well over a month since this vacation ended,......

....why do you ask?

Monday, May 23, 2011

Hall & Oates

Some of you may be aware of my recent obsession with all things 80's.  Specifically 80's music.  Much more specifically, Hall & Oates.  I mean, who wouldn't want some of this right?

Don't deny it.

That stache.

The feathered bangs.

I'm getting phantom shoulder pad and scrunchy pains.

So, as I sat down to do another post about our adventures in Sedona last month all that was running through my mind were H&O lyrics.  Please bear with me.  

Our trip to Out of Africa Wildlife Park:

To the Tune of "Maneater"--
She'll only come out at night
The lean and hungry type
Nothing is new, I've seen her here before
Watching and waiting--

I wouldn't if I were you
I know what she can do
She's deadly man, she could really rip your world apart

Switching to "Kiss is on my list" tune here---
(Because your kiss) your kiss I can't resist
(Because your kiss is what I miss) when I turn off the light

(Yup, are seeing what you think you're seeing.....Memzy feeding a giraffe a carrot.....from her mouth)

Queue "You make my dreams come true" tunage (one of my personal faves) specifically as you see Char Char in this pic--

Well well you (ooh ooh ooh ooh) you make my dreams come true (you you) you
(you you)

What I want, I've got
But it might be hard to handle
Like the flame that burns the candle
The candle feeds the flaaaaaaame

Well well well you (ooh ooh ooh ooh) ooh you make my dreams come true (you
you you you) oh yeah
When they're messin' with a dreamer
I can laugh it in the face

Pushing Jukebox button to the tune of "Private Eyes"--
I see you, you see me
watch you blowin' the lines when you're making a scene
Oh girl, you've got to know
Private Eyes
they're watching you
they see your every move
Private Eyes
they're watching you

Hitting fast forward on my cassette tape in the boombox to 
"Say it Isn't So"--

(Say it) 
Who propped you up when you were stopped 
Low motivation had you on the ground 

I know your first reaction 
You slide away hide away, goodbye 
You have to say it isn't so  (It isn't so)  I say it isn't so, oh, no  (It isn't so) 
Now I dare you to not go and look up those song geniuses on iTunes right now.
Double Dog Dare.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Churches, Chilly Water, and Chances

You may or may not be aware that Sedona, AZ is full of vortexes.  Frealz.  You can also get your aura photographed.  Too bad we didn't have time to do that.  I'm pretty sure my aura is a nice pale butter color.  However, we did have time to visit a church that was actually ON a vortex.  Or is it IN a vortex.  Or maybe ABOUT a vortex?  

Either way we were prepared to be vortex-ed.

Pondering possible aura-induced

Those candles were only $1 to light.  In case your aura needed some, uh, incentive.

You guys buying this? 

Yeeeah, us neither.  

That's about as believable as me going more than 24 hours without a Diet Soda.  (more like 12 hrs but you don't have to be so JUDGY)

We were just there for the views yo!

Right up the canyon from Sedona and our hotel was a state park known as Slide Rock.  A natural water slide made up of just-melted-from-the-winter-snow water and scrape-your-fanny-style rocks.

So I was told anyway.  I didn't actually get IN the water!!  That'd be just as plausible as me not knowing every single word to Selena Gomez's latest song, "Who Says".

Wait for it to sink in.

Wait for it.


Anyway, gorgeous weather

Beautiful scenery

Especially gratifying when standing around, fully clothed, with camera in hand.  

Jespy was braver than me.  She put her toe in.

Braver still was Shed who got in up to his ankles I think.  Maybe even his shins.

Braveriest of all tho were those boys.  

I'd like to take a brief moment and interject here.  I'm perfectly happy embracing my lack of adventure when it comes to safety and comfort.  As I get older my priorities are changing.  I'm not ashamed.

Staying warm and dry and injury free?  ::making hand motion::   Up here.

Being considered an adventurous mom?  ::making much, much lower hand motion::  Down here.

Having dark chocolate in some form every day?  ::super high hand motion::  Up here.

Eating broccoli?  ::hand motion nearing the floor::  Way down here.

You get it.  

::double gun point and mouth click::

To each his own tho.  To each his own.  I'm pretty sure Anthony feels differently than I do.

It's just a guess.  He and I haven't really discussed it at length.  Or at all.

Brains, not to be outdone, took 5 solid minutes controlling a panic attack whilst standing at the edge, only to overcome the threat of tears.....and follow suit.

I was really proud of him.  I wouldn't call it a cliff jump but that might be how he's describing it to his friends on FB.

Sorta like this text converstation with Jespy in our respective hotel rooms that morning.

Jespy:  are you wearing your swimsuit today?

Me: Just my top

Jespy: ????
Me: you know, with my jeans on the bottom

Jespy: oh you mean your black bikini top with the matching scrunchy?

Me: yup!! that's the one!

Jespy: k we can be twinners then

Me: perf...make sure your muffin top hangs out tho

Jespy:  duh!

So, we've covered the church and the chilly water.  Now I will briefly touch on the "chances".  You may have noticed that Cracker was conspicuously missing from any "bravery" action shots here.  He noticed it as well.  He noticed it deeply, personally, and (according to him) shamefully.  No amount of logic from any of the adults present would convince him he was "the man" just as much as the other boys.  

Cut to 15 minutes later Cracker is on the ridge above us waving hello.

Cut to me yelling "Come down from there you can't go off by yourself!"

Cut to 10 more minutes going by and he's not back from his little hike yet. 

Cut to me "Shed can you go check on Cracker?"

Cut to 10 minutes later and none of us adults can find him and some random kid tells us he went "that way" and pointed to the MOUNTAIN.

Cut to me going "yeah right" in my head.

Cut to Shed walking up to me and pointing to the top of the mountain and seeing an itty bitty teeny tiny Cracker waving down from the top.  We can't hear him.  He's about as big as my thumb when I hold it up.

Cut to me having a panic attack and successfully pretending I was cool as a cucumber (Jespy, AV can you confirm?)

Cut to the end when we found him and he climbed down and he was not injured and he was alive and he got a second chance to live because I didn't KILL HIM.

Did I mention he was barefoot the whole time? 


Well he was.  

The End.

Sunday, May 01, 2011

The Grand Canyon -- tools

We were lucky enough to have the opportunity to take a week long vacation with some of our favorite people.  First stop on our trip was the Grand Canyon.  This was one of those things we'd been wanting to do for years and it was never quite the right time.  And we never had the right "tools".  And when I say "tools" I mean, of course, the version of tools in my head that you get the pleasure of.............oh never mind.

Tool #1: Bring with you the appropriate besties.  Enjoyment and fulfillment will surely be lacking if you don't.

It only improves the odds of fun if those besties happen to be the same ages as you and your kids.  It's practically fail proof.

Tool #2: BFF's or not you'll need your fam to appreciate such gorgy-ness.  Even if you've just been yelling at one in the car because the other one won't stop singing that annoying song and the first one keeps putting his feet up on the seat so then you blew your top and screamed something with the word "dumb" in it along with making a SERIOUS mom face followed by consuming an entire bag of gummy worms and frightened silence for approximately 11.8 minutes.

(the above scenario does not apply to THIS family--->)

Tool #3: A corny junior ranger program that nerds like us lurve to participate in. 

 This provides said nerd herd with opportunities for education as well as moments of pondering the glories of those great outdoors of which we partook. (Brains and Cord really nailed this one)  

As well as a super expensive plastic badge and swearing in by an official G.C. Ranger.

Tool #4: An appropriate sense of awe and wonder.  I'm pretty sure you can purchase those at Tar-jay but we had one in the car that we pulled out for the occasion.  

Tool #5: A strong trust in your children's safety (and more specifically in your ability to not squeal and shriek with worry as they get close to an "edge".  I forgot to pick one of those tools up at Wal-shiz so Shed had to take this picture for me.

Tool #6: Snowman makings.

Yeah.  Not kidding and stuff.

Sooo, more to come later.  I've gotta go do important stuff like watch Celebrity Apprentice and try to sand blast the callouses off my heels that have formed just in time for spring.

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