Thursday, October 28, 2010

Ragnar Relay Race

I'd like to prepare you for an extremely picture heavy post.  I couldn't leave stuff out!  It's like having a Dewars chocolate milkshake without almonds.  Just.  Not.  Right.  So, no blaming me for finger/wrists cramps.  You've been warned.
Our fearless leader, Anna, who organized and harassed all of us for the last 6 months to put this thing together.  We couldn't have done it without her. 

Actually we prolly WOULDN'T have done it without her.  Which many people were saying as they cursed her name while running mile 5 uphill.....but I digress.

We had a 9pm meeting the night before where we exchanged cell phone #'s and talked about our plan.  And when I say plan I mean, finalizing food and water and vans.  The "plan" in regard to actually running looked a little like this:

"Finish and stay alive"
I think that plan can apply to many things.  Don't you?  

So, the Ragnar is a fairly young yet wildly popular relay race.  It's run all over the country, involves (most of the time) a 12 person team, 3 volunteers, 2 vans, 2 drivers, 200(ish) miles, and 36(ish) hours.  Each team member runs three different legs over that 36 hours period, with varying degrees of length and difficulty. 

Doesn't that sound like FUN you gize?!!  

Speaking of vans.  There were two vans.  In Van 1:

Dwight, Jespy, Me (notice the box of tissues, more on that later), Shed, Uncle D, and Ally.

We had the first 6 legs, ranging from 5.7-8.8 miles each, totally 44 miles.  The race started with me, 6:30 am......up in the Valley of Fire.......still dark.....headlamps required.....reflective vests required......LED lights required.    

Of course, by the time I got to the "chute" to hand off that sweaty wrist band to Ally, it was light outside.  I had stuck the headlamp down my sports bra.  I'm just now confessing this to the other members of my group that later used that head lamp.  

I'll send you sympathy cards in the mail tomorrow.

Speaking of pictures of me have to have ZERO shame to post these.  I actually have shame but I'm pretending to be very confident.  

Is it working?

Let's speed things up here a bit and show you how that first 5 hours of Friday went.

Ally (who was by far the fastest runner in our van)

I knew her for approximately 2.5 hours before this race.  Now she's one of my new BFF's.  
I heart you Ally!!

The scenery was gorge btw!!  You wouldn't think so in the desert.

The vans would drive along the course and "leap frog" with the runners, stopping to give them water, ring the cowbell, cheer them on, what have you.

Sometimes (before we ran) we'd even be essited!

And at each exchange of runners we got to use these loverly porta potties.

As you can imagine they, um, got progressively worse as the 36 hours crept forward.

In the van we had changes of running clothes, food, pillows, sleeping bags (for that 2.5 hour "sleep" on the ground we got to take), water, electrolyte and energy food (gross!) and obviously our various cell phones/ipods/chargers, etc.

We had LOTS of fun in the van.  That was one of my favorite parts.

Token pic of Shed running.

If you click on that pic you'll see he's actually...........smiling!  

As he goes up here:

for approximately 7 miles.  Up.  Hill.

Maybe he was smiling because he knew he got to do this:

And he got to do it often since most of us were too tired to get out of the van more than once during any particular leg of the race.

Rools.  Lots of rools from those Ragnar people. 

Can't cross the street without a flag. 

Have to wear the nighttime gear.

Have to actually move your bodies over the whole 200 miles instead of driving it.  

::rolling eyes::  

Token pic of Jespy running.

She insisted I keep that pic far away.  But if you click on it you can vaguely see that our beloved Jespy actually had robot knees.  

You learn something new here every day.

Speaking of runners and volunteers,...look what dood got to volunteer right as his bro was finishing off Van 1!   Uncle D ran in to all of us cheering for him and his brother, the other Uncle D, pointing him in the direction to go.  Tender moment.

After running the first leg for our van we got to meet Van 2.  This van consisted of Anthony, Anna B, Anna D, David, Trent, and Kerra.  You can see a few more pics of that group HERE.

Not that I'm complaining or anything (even tho I totally am), this Van 2 got to sleep in that morning and only run 25 miles compared to our van getting up at 4am and running 44 miles.  

As a giver of Ragnar information I feel it my duty to inform you of that.  I'm sure you understand.  ::rubbing sore hamstring::

So, five times over that 36 hour period we got to chat and catch up with the other Van.

And their yellow collared shirts.

Here's a few pics from the other group's fun time.

The driver, HotPants, who had to back out at the last minute due to a knee injury.
 Anna D


David, updating his FB status.  I think he even did that during his 10 mile run.  

Oh, and about that tissue box......I had a massive head cold coming on the night before the race.  It reared it's ugly head between leg 1 and leg 2.  Leg 2 was at 8pm at night and I had to carry tissues in my pocket so I didn't get snot on the runners behind me.  
Is that too much information?

Over 36 hours I "went" #2 more than lotsa times, slept about 2.5,  laughed, cried, stunk (thank goodness for deodorant spray), drank 11teen gallons of water, drank only 3 sodas (can you believe it?!),  blew my nose 12, 635 times, ran (duh), greased my hair, tried to UNgrease my hair (no point), changed clothes twice, choked down some power bar bites (never again), did the running man once, cheered with a cow bell, met new people, took a few pictures, and then.....

it was time for the finish

Our van had a few hours break before Van 2 finished up so we got to go back to Jespy's house and actually SHOWER and use a flushing toilet.  

We actually looked kinda normal.  Good thing there's no video of us trying to walk.  Picture  the Tin Man right before he freezes solid.  It was kinda like that.

::rubbing sore calves::

Anthony was our last runner and we got to wait a few yards from the finish and run in with him.

Here is our whole crew right after the finish.

I loved every minute of it.  I'm still sad that it's over.  
::rubbing sore quads::

But srsly, it was an experience I'll never forget.  I can't wait to do it again.  Who's with me?

Besides you get these cool shirts and medals

I've only worn mine to the mall and grocery store 3 times this week.  

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


This is me and my sugarpants after we finished running the Ragnar this last weekend.  It's a good thing you can't smell through the compy screen.  I'm still in Ragnar-land in my brain and I really want to post the hysterical pictures of head lamps, reflective vests, porta potty's and such.  But I'm waiting for SOME people to send me their pics that I don't have on my camera.  I'm gonna plead exhaustion on that because I had my camera the whole time.  But who remembers to reach into the glove box at 4am in the middle of the desert and run out into the 45 degree weather to capture Tony running into the crowd with a sweaty wrist baton to hand off to me?

Hint: The answer is not me.  

But until THOSE people send me their pictures I'll wait IMpatiently. I have some of my own but I need the complete set.  If not, at least post your own blogs so I can link you.

So, in the mean time, I was searching through some old emails and look what I came across.  It's an email I sent my dad 3 years ago.  He lurved his puns.  It made me think of him and giggle. 

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was art ificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and
asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ... A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

I challenge you to use one of these in your conversations this week and see what kind of reaction you get.  I'll send you your (endearingly named) nerd magnet after you report.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Knuckle Biter

You know how you see the triple fudge brownie cheesecake in the dessert display at the restaurant and it causes you physical pain?

It's kinda like that.

Or how about when you haven't had a soda forlikemyever because it's fast sunday and you finally take a big long sip.  (I know I have a problem, we've discussed this before)

It's sorta like that.

Or what about when you forgot that your Cooking With Clara model has growed up and not only that but she now has a 6 monf old baby brother with no neck.

Yeah, it's pretty much exactly like that.

I'd show you my bloody knuckles but I don't want to tarnish this post.

Monday, October 11, 2010


Not THAT you gize!!!  Geez.  No, I'm talking about my "Sigh-Times-Disease".  It's a very real illness.  Look it up in the journal of medicine that's sitting on your coffee table.

Over the last few days I've noticed that I've been sighing uncontrollably.  Like, one sigh every 3.7 minutes.  I googled it like any smart person does to get a diagnosis.  Through my research I've found that I either have a strong urge to picket on a street corner......or it's because of this:
Either way I'm pretty sure I need therapy.  Cuz I did NOT want a dog. 

But did you know that?  Or did you just assume I was an animal lover like lotsa other people?

You probably figured me more for a "view the animal through glass" kinda person than a "get on the floor and tackle the dog" kinda person. 

But I couldn't be sure, you might have to picket my house to let me know.

Let me rewind.  I grew up with dogs in my house.  We went from one dog to the next.  First was Misty, the poodle.  Couldn't find a picture of her but I also don't have a great deal of memories associated with Misty.  Except one----when my mom backed our VW bus out of the garage and ran OVER Misty, only to rush her to the vet while in tears to find that Misty was, in fact, deaderz.  Good dog tho, good times. 
Almost immediately following the Misty snafu we got Chewy.

Try to focus on the dog here people.  Just for a minute then we'll come back the obvious.

Chewy was supposed to be a Cockapoo (part Cocker part Poodle) but was, in fact, a big fat MUTT as you can see.  Chewy was a great dog and even rode around in my brother's backpack while we would go hiking.   Everyone loved him.  Well, everyone but my oldest brother.  And it just so happens that on a trip out of town one fateful day (my oldest brother being the only one to stay at home because of his job), Chewy "got out" of the yard and was hit by a car.  My brother "forgot" to close the side gate.  I'm not sure I've ever forgiven him for that.  ::shaking my fist up to the sky::

Back to the obvious.  How great was my LOOK?!!

Middle parted feathered bangs.  Those plaid cuffed shorts were my favorite.  If you look closely under my Aunt Visor homemade toll painted sweatshirt you'd see those shorts are sitting roughly at my ribcage.  I won't even comment on how adorable my dad is here.  I've already cried enough today.  (thanks a LOT Izzy!!)
I was totally devistated about the loss of Chewy and almost refused to accept the new dog in our life.  Skeeter.

This is a scanned page out of my childhood scrapbooks my mom made.  As you can see the entire page was dedicated to this dog.  I even used his ears as scrunchy holders and took a stuffed replica to BYU with me. 

(Now you are going to picket my house right?  I can hear the chanting now...."Friends don't let friends be crazy dog lovers!"  "Please say it's not true!"  I think you'll probably go with florescent signs and large black writing?  Sounds reasonable.  I'll bring out cookies and lemonade.)

I always knew that when I had my own "home" I would have dogs.  At least I thought I knew that.  Happens to me all the time.

After college I was married and had my own family.   And I had to keep my own house clean.  And feed my own babies.  And take those kids to the doctor.  And wipe up those kids poop.  And potty train those kids.  And I just could not imagine doing that for another thing.....especially an animal. 

"What was I thinking?" I'd told myself.  I'd become an animal critic.  Animals were gross.  Animals made your house gross.

And then I caved.  You may remember THIS post.  My little boys were so happy and so I was happy (I guess).

What I didn't understand at the time was what would happen to me.

Maybe it's the ears.

Maybe it's the humility from being a "lady of the streets".

Maybe it's the "broken" tail.

But one things for sure.  I like her.  I really like her.

Hence my STD.
::ginorm sigh::

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