TUNE IN TUESDAY

It's a lonely job up here you gize. On this pedestal of advice that you all have put me. (I know that is an incomplete sentence. I wanted it that way. It adds drama.) It's ok to admit it. I know you have. I'm smart about that stuff. And if you are smart you will listen to me. Cuz I give it good. Advice. <--Again with the drama.

Good advice #1: Blue tooth blunder

" Hey Daryl, can you hear me? This is Ron. I am in idiot!"

Tired of looking like an idiot when you are walking around with your silly Bluetooth ear piece in your ear? Well, have I got some good, nay, Great advice for you. Take it out! You look like it when you walk around the store with it in your ear when it is clear that you are not talking to anyone.
It's 2008, we ALL have cell phones. You don't look cool. You look like silly.
Look, I don't mean to come down hard on you like this...really, I don't. But I would not be doing my job of offering great advice if I didn't tell you that it's not cool to wear a Bluetooth ear piece when you are not using it. I understand that it is a pretty helpful tool...when someone is on the other line. But when the line is dead, it turns you into a moron.
Even if you are talking to someone, and you're not driving or doing something that leaves your hands too occupied to hold anything, use your phone. You look crazy talking to your self as you walk up and down the isles of your local super market. Just hold your little, light weight phone in your hands so the rest of us know you are not talking to us when you pass and say something like: "Yeah, I'd keep walking too if my back side was that big."
Once you get over you Bluetooth ear mess, we can move on to better things that make you look cool. Like, for guys "Do I tuck it in, or let it all hang out: Shirts, and the standard of tucking."

Good advice #2: Grocery cart guffaws


After you've made it through the whole grocery store with your children without managing to break anything, or knock over that large display of canned green beans, then managed to get the kids to the car without buying all the candy in the checkout, and still are able to unload the kids and the groceries into the car without anyone getting hurt-------it is perfectly acceptable to leave your grocery cart in the little "four corners" of the parking spaces instead of walk a 1/4 mile across the parking lot to put it in the "cart parking". Let's be realistic. The grocery store PAYS George, the teenage boy, to walk around the parking lot and round all of them up for you. It's his source of income for the weekend when he's finally gonna ask that girl out and will have the cash to take her to see Madagascar 2 and baskin robbins. You would be denying George of his date possibilities if you were to put away your cart properly. He would be out of a job.

K, it's up to you my young Padowan learners. Hit me.