Everyone out there needs advice on occasion. Not everyone can be a genius like me.
Need to know if you should REALLY use an exclamation point at the end of that sentence? How to cope with living in a city of drab, dreary surrounding? Paper clip or binder clip? Velcro lunch box or metal with thermos? I have the answers here. Just AskMemzy and I will fulfill your wishes. As always, we will start out the week with some good, solid advice.
Your welcome in advance.
Good advice #1: If someone says: "Yuck, this stinks so badly." Trust them. You don't need to smell it to confirm the stunkedness of what they are smelling. Have you ever been glad you did? NO! So don't do it. No one likes smelling stinky things. You know it's going to smell, so don't do it. I repeat, Don't do it!
Good advice #2: During these turbulent economic times where should you put your money? The answer is diversify and put the money in the mattress as well as buried in the back yard. I see no fault in a plan to hide money beneath your mattress. It's a solid, safe place to hide stuff. The return on your money will be...let me calculate this...carry the 1...times 4 to the 5th power.......nothing. But I'm sure you will be very safe once people know you hide money beneath your mattress. People respect ones private space. Have you thought about putting some in your gym socks? You will have to be vigilant to take them out of your socks prior to a good washing, but that should be easy, especially if you put coins in there, as they could become uncomfortable over time. No one knows how to protect your money more than you. And the stink your bills will surely acquire will be enough to keep you from frivolous spending as the embarrassment will be enough to keep your cash put.
Good advice #3: Know your audience. When you make a funny comment about Dora and Swiper and how she could totally beat him up instead of just sticking her hand out saying "Swiper, no swiping!", make sure your audience is not a group of past-middle-agers who have NO IDEA who this Dora is that you speak of and does she live in your neighborhood or what?
And now it is time for your questions. I am at your beck and call (except during my gym class si claro). Aaaaaand go.........
29 comments:
When my (fairly wealthy) grandmother died, we were cleaning out her house and found a box of ace bandages. My brother started to dump them in the trash (they looked kind of old and skanky), when he noticed something poking out the side. He unrolled it and it had like $1K in $100 bills rolled up in it. We checked and they all had cash in them. Like almost $10K. Perfect place, who would look inside a skanky ace?
^^No way! Thanks for the cash hiding tip, Shel!
Ok, here's my questions. I know you are an avid runner. I started a week ago and already my knees are KILLING me. Any advice in the knee hurting department--besides popping Ibuprofen?
Dear AskMemzy,
First of all, I'm a big fan. I get lost of good advice from you every week and, as a result, my life is exponentially better. I cannot thank you enough.
Now, my problem... I have this best frousin and she doesn't scrapbook. I do like to scrapbook on occassion. The problem is this... my best frousin mocks scrapbooking every chance she gets. Is there a tactful way that I can tell her to cram it?
Acid-freely Yours,
CroppingInDenver
Shel- Thanks for your reaffirming that my advice is good. That's a real life lesson there.
Emily- Running as RAD. But it is also really tough on your body. Before I can answer your question better I need to know where on your knees is it hurting? The front top, front bottom, on the sides? Etc. Get back to me.
Landee- Your best frousin is obviously really smart and cute and funny. But I am fairly certain that this mocking of scrapbooking comes from her complete and utter guilt for being unable to actually do it herself. I think if your cousin could pay someone to scrapbook her entire life for her she would do it. So, the mocking is actually pointed at herself. So, in short....tell her to cram it. But she might still mock herself. As long as you know where it's coming from.
Dear Ask Memzy,
As we speak (write) my 3 year old is standing next to me sobbing, "I don't want those pants." This is because I took his diaper off and just pulled his pj bottoms up. He is upset, to say the least. We just won't potty train!! He loves his diapers, as do I. After taking a 2 year old little girl to a public restroom yesterday and having to look away so that I would not gag (she touched EVERYTHING) I realized Heavenly Father knew what he was doing when he ONLY sent me little lboys! So my Question is....How do I make myself WANT to potty train my Child?
Signed, Wet and stinky in Bako
(sorry I was a little trigger happy and pushed enter before I left who I was. Cause you wouldn't have know!)
Br Boys-- It's been said the phrase "You've got to want it to win it". But it in this case that couldn't be further from the truth. I dreaded every day leading up to potty training for each of my kids and I hated every day during the process. It's more like when you know you have to go get a root canal. You are terrified of root canals because of the last time the anesthetic didn't work and you sat through hours of excruciating pain. Yet, you know you have to go because that pain in your mouth is bordering on child birth as well. I'd like to start a new phrase that I just thought of right now. "Just Do It". But at the same time, I don't think his Kindergarten teacher will care much if you just send him in diapers. What are they gonna do--kick him out? So, in short........potty training is torture. Bear it with "magic pills" if necessary.
Dear AskMemzy,
What should I blog about today?
Signed,
Pleasemesomethinggood
PS. I have a *for reals* running question as well. 9 times out of 10, I have to stop running because I get a painful side cramp. How do I prevent these? I don't eat 1-2 hours before I run, what else?
AskMenzy, back to my knee hurting question: It hurts in the middle of my knees. You know, in between the top and bottom bones? Ouchies.
I need some blog posting ideas too. My well is running dry.
WHERE IN THE HECK IS MY JOHN BYTHEWAY STANDARDS NIGHT DVD ??????
About the scrapbooking thing, I'm definetly going to jump in on the side of Memzy. Did I miss a meeting? When did the Brethren send out the Proclamation on Scrapbooking? I guess I'll have to watch conference more carefully next time! Not realy a question just a pet peave: The scouts have Pack meeting every month and the boys receive awards EVERY MONTH! How many awards do the girls get? Oh yea, 1!! Why do we begin at such a young age teaching boys that they need constant praise? You know it carrys on into later life...they never outgrow it! "We don't keep score, honey, everybody's a winner!" "Your the best husband ever in the history of husbands!!" I'm thinking these boys need more real-life, you-don't-always-win life lessons. What are your thoughts?
Signed, toughluvin in bakersfield
To clarify... I don't make fun of my frousin for NOT scrapbooking. But she does like to tease ME about doing it.
And who are these Brethren you speak of? Are they part of your church? I'm Lutheran.
::clearing through and taking big deep breath::
AJ- Your blog today should be about your first kiss with Anfernee, or the story of how you guys started becoming "an item". And as far as your side cramp goes: it's prolly from being dehydrated. Try to prevent that by drinking 10-12 oz of water 30 min before you run. And also watch how you breath. A few deep breaths every minute helps. If it already happens anyway, to get rid of it bend over at the waist and breath in and out really loud (you know, obnoxiously, like you are pretending to be a serial killer on the phone). Good luck.
Emily- Your knee issue can be helped by buying those knee braces in the store. You can find them anywhere, like Wal-shiz, and they are really thick neoprene with a little circle opening for that knobby thing on the tip of your knee. Also, take ibuprofen at least 30 minutes before running. That will prevent any inflamation from happening, instead of trying to get rid of it after. And your new blog should be a list of things that have changed since you've had Tait.
Jonesey- Your John Bytheway DVD is in the box marked "I love the 80's--gospel section". You'll find it under the EFY music of 1989.
Luthi girls--It's true, Landee never teases me about my NON srapbooking skillz. Like I said before, it's just cuz she's so good at it and I'm not that I do. And you should start your own column about pet peeves. I have a few I could contribute there! And SRSLY, I'm in scouts too.
Landee-Nice Lutheran joke. Love it. Can you scrapbook that into a page for me? I wanna see your conversion story on paper.
^^Oh no I di'int!
Dear Memzy,
I hope I'm not to late. Should I care if everytime I go to pick out my only girls out fit she cries "Not a brown and pink outfit again!"??? I just love those two colors and they look so great on her. What do ya think?
Annie
You're never too late Annie. You should totally NOT care if she does that. Everyone knows pink and brown is the it color for girls nowadays and you are the one buying the clothes soooo....she has no say. Just offer her some of Micah's clothes as another option and maybe that will stop her from "popping off" like that. Of course, this might be the ONE area that I don't know as much about since I only have boys and stuff. Still.....good advice.
Memzy
The only day I really work is Tuesdays. But, now it is cutting into my getting some good advice. What is more important? Helping out the family a little bit during a time whe the economic situation for the country is in dire straights. Or, sitting at my computer waiting for someone to ask and recieve advice. Cuz, I only have like 20 minutes to do it now.
BTW-I LOVE the thoughts on scouts, and I am pulling my boys out as we speak. I will not feel guilty, because I am helping them to tuffin' up, right? WOOOHOOO, Wednesdays and every second Tuesdays just got better!!!!!
Dear Ask Memzy,
Thanks for the advice. I Just did it. I just put (forced) chunk to put on his underware. I wasn't pretty, but I did it. Thanks again I really needed you!!
Thurstonian--see above for my comments about our difficult economic times. And change the day you work fer super duh!
Love the great advice!! Here's a question, How do you keep your kids from climbing in your bed in the middle of the night, EVERY NIGHT? My king bed is only so big!! (All 3 of them do it)
Totally off subject... What do you think about taking our family picture sometime in October??
Thanks Memzy,
I will call the 10 moms I work for right now. What day should I tell them I want to change to? I was thinking, "A cold day in @*$%". That should keep relations good, right? Wait, are any of them reading your blog? shoot!
I have two questions for Memzy...sorry so late in the day. I have to bring home the bacon before I can get to real life. #1 -- If you eat at the "Big Bun" restaurant, does that say something about the people that work there or the future of people that eat there? #2 -- How do you tell your grown-man boyfriend, to stop picking up random stuffed animals for you as gifts because he knows you think flowers are kind of a waste of money...SERIOUSLY!
Ah if only ^^ had a blog of her OWN I could better answer such things. But firstly, eating at the "Big Bun" is not for the faint of heart. You need to be able to explore flavors that you've never tasted, or experience in full the power of a BLT that IS the Big Bun. Dunk that in your fry sauce and bite it. And tell your man-size boyfriend that stuffed animals are LAMERZ. Use those exact words or he might not get it. And you can tell him Femily said so.
memzy,
My wife is really good looking. The kids would call her "bootylicious." guys stare and pick up on her at the grocery store. How can I stop this train?
Dear ask Memzy,
I have a problem. I sometimes can't make the time to blog for a day or two and when I come back to it I am like "HOOOOOLY CRAAAAAAP!" There are too many feeds to catch up on! Then I get overwhelmed. Then I spend forever catching up while my husband and children are begging for my attention. What do I do?!
Dear Shed- Your wife is not that good looking. You just think so cuz you heart her so much. But you are cute for saying so. I'm sure your wife will take care of you for that.
Amanda, my best advice is to schedule a time EVERY day to blog. It doesn't have to be a large amount (15 minutes would do it) and that way you can keep up with everything going on. Even if you don't comment at least you've read the stuff. But if you can't do that, then don't worry about catching up. We will all understand.
Dear Memzy,
Sorry this is so late--hope I can sneak in under the wire but my question is important.
If your toilets are looking pretty bad--and you're having company on, say, Saturday, should you clean them now AND again before company arrives or is it OK to just let 'em go a few more days. I'm waffling back and forth. I try not to look down when in the bathroom--not working. But why should I clean them now and then just have to do it again in a couple of days? You can see this is a serious problem. Help me please.
P.S. Kudos to Shed on the news tonight. He did a great job and looked super cool.
PPSS. Tell the boys tomorrow is homemade pizza day at Gramma's while you're having fun doing scouts at your house. (Feeling sorry for you now)
Aunt Visor/Mom--There is no shame in leaving dirty toilets dirty until they are absolutely needed to be clean. I use this scenario myself when I know the cleaner lady is coming in, er, say... a week. I tell myself this (and you should too), "Why should I go to that extra work when it will just need to be done (or she will do it) in a few days anyway?" In short, wait until the day-of. You will be happier for it. And by the way, my kids don't care if your toilets are dirty for pizza making tomorrow.
Thanks for the stellar advice! I might have to go into more detail on that one blog post later, for sure.
Shed was on the news? I famous!(<--through you gize)
I took it more as, he got some news and reacted well to it.
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