Good advice #1: Preschoolers talking about Santa among other preschoolers is risky. If one raises his hand during preschool at your house and wants to share his little views about Santa you'd better be sure that he in "knowledgeable". Cuz otherwise it could come out like this: "Santa doesn't come to California. So, instead our mom's and dad's just buy us presents and say they are from Santa." Lucky for me the other preschoolers listening weren't buying it. And no, it wasn't my kid that said that. Thank garshkees.
Good advice #2: People of all ages like pizza. If you signed up to take dinner to a family in the ward and couldn't pull it together in time to make a nice meal----get yourself over to Sam's Club or Costco and pick up some nice hot pizzas. Everyone is happy. Home cooked meals are overrated y'all.
Good advice #3: Tie things together.....loosely if necessary. For example: One of you children tends to forget things you've asked them to do. Over and over again. So, if he, say, forgets to empty the water out of the tub after his "soak" ..........AGAIN. It is perfectly reasonable to tell him that he is now required to clean that bathroom (which has toothpaste stuck to the counter, water splashed on the mirror, and pee-pees around the toilet). That's a reasonable consequence. Especially since you really didn't want to clean it yourself.
Now it's your turn gize. Make me proud.
25 comments:
Dear Memzy,I need suggestions, i.e. coping skills to get through the week until Landeelu gets back on her blogstation. Re-reading her last post only goes so far.
I tried this and it helped, but only for about an hour: "Honey, (Uncle Visor), it's getting harder for me to help you up from the potty--even though we have a raised set on it cuz it's too low. Maybe we could find one that's higher"
Uncle Visor: "Yeah--we could call it the skychair potty-----but I'm a little worried about the splash". I started laughing so hard I couldn't stop.
Maybe you had to be there---but it was realllly funny.
I highly agree with #2. I think a family receiving a dinner would sometimes prefer pizza over a casserole! But then again, maybe that's just me! :)
Help me memzy. I am so scared, I didn't sleep at all last night. my neighbor got robbed at gunpoint, this might be a little serious for your advice column, I am just trying to lighten up about it. I seem to be more freaked out then some of my neighbors.I don't have any big dogs or alarm systems and My hubby is gone a lot.
Mom--Landee is dead to me. Her inability to find internet access while out in the middle of the ocean is unnacceptable. She' is SRS time-out.
That splash factor could be a continual laugh factor as well. Factor that in. Factor
Homegirl--I would prefer pizza myself over a casserole that I may or may not think is grodie.
PearGirl--You live in I-D-A-H-O, right? Robbed at gunpoint? My best suggestion is to move to Cali.
Dear AskMemzy:
1) What is Pearlgirl's address? I hear she doesn't have any big dogs or alarm systems and her hubby is gone a lot.
2) Am I a horrible person for joking around at the expense of an already frightened almost crime victim?
3) Wait, don't answer that.
Markie: Probably, but you're quite possibly the biggest teddy bear next to my Sam, so you don't scare anyone.
Oh, and Memz..Sam says to remind Shed that Sam is his favorite uncle and that his birthday is in March. (That'll give him enough time to save up some $$$ for the Canon 5D Mark II)
:0)
Markie--Huh? Oh boy.
Shel--I'll pass that along? Sammy wants to shoot some HD video methinks?
Dear Memzy,
Let's just say that a doctor recently prescribed you some muscle relaxers because you strained your back (moving the piano, or something). She specifically said to take them for at least 3 days, but you're worried because they make you feel so "groovy" that 3 days may not be enough. What to do?
Signed,
Groovy Girl in Bako
P.S. Take out is always better than homemade because the family will actually eat it, versus the casserole, which nobody EVER eats. Srsly, what mom wants you to bring dinner that she can't use? Lose the guilt and earn some more points on the Costco year-end savings events. :D
Groovy Girl--Aaah. Muscle Relaxers. I've been given those a time or two onnacuzza the back my lovely daddy gave me. It goes out once a year or so. And my brother is a doctor and stuff sooooo,...I know things. Take them as long as you feel necessary. They aren't addictive or anything. Or you can just keep them around as you "special" pills on "those" kinds of days, right?
#2 is oh so wise. My girls tell me they never like to have meals brought in because they can't trust the cleanliness of someone they don't know that well. So they would prefer the pizza. I wonder if there are that many people as psyco as my gals out there?
I have issues...
So I am late. I still expect a response!
Dear Ask Memzy,
What do you do if you put on a few pounds and then your husband says he likes the new womanly you? Let me add, you are 50% sure he is lying.
Katie-- Tell you him really enjoy his half-haired head. That should do it.
Dearmemzy, How do I prepare myself for the deep depression that is sure to come when the snow leaves and Small Town Oregon is back to it's dark rainy days? Would moving be too much???
Thanks,
Me-no-likey-dark-days
Also do not let your whack do-not-believe friends tell stories about debunking myths in front of your children. I know you are thinking this applies to me but I believe in the magic of the holidays.
Dear Memzy,
Who am I? Where do I come from? What is my purpose here?
Signed,
Desparately Seeking Answers In Nampa
I have a similar problem. My sister in law tells her kids Santa is dead. Is it okay to stay away from her for the rest of the season?
No-likey-dark-days: Borrow some of Jenny's magic pills, stock up on Diet beverages and red vines, and stay in your pj's 5 out of 7 days a week watching nothing but TV.
Desperately Seeking Answers: tell me your address again? I have two young men who would LOVE to come visit you.
Kristin: perfectly fine to stay away from her. It's even ok to cover your kids ears and sing "lalalallalalala" whenever she might be around. She'll get the hint.
Dear AskMemzy,
Every time stretch my fingers out over my compy keyboard, clear my throat, and begin to type something brilliant, one of my kids comes in and begs me to let them use it--and the three year old won't take no for an answer. My question is, should I buy them their own laptop for Christmas and give a gift to myself in the process, or should I buy three laptops (one for each of them) and give myself three gifts.
Sincerely,
ButTheEconomyYaKnow?
ButTheEconomyGirl-- The answer is obvious. You need to think of others (ie. US on the interweb) and if that means buying a compy for every single kid in your house than that's what you do. Take one for the team, I say.
OK, Memz... haven't checked in for a while. Love the advice, love the camera, love the trumpet, and LOVE the family pix! What a woman!
Totally agree with you and everyone else on taking pizza for dinner. One time I had someone bring me a casserole to the door. While she was handing it over to me, she starting coughing and hacking and said, "Sorry, I didn't bring any side dishes to go along with it. I'm just not feeling very well." That really made me want to eat that casserole!
On the Santa note, what do you do when your 5 year old son sits on Santa's lap, Santa gives him a little candycane instead of a big ones that all the other children have received, and then the before-mentioned 5 year old son yells, "I hate Santa. He's mean?!"
Dear Memzy,
I know I am a few days late, but I really need some answers. What does it take to be a great photographer? Is it worth it to sell your soul for some skills? I am getting desperate is all, you know, desperate.
Thanks,
Antsy in Arizona
Hebers- Way to go Carson!
Emily/Antsy in AZ--I'm not sure I know the answer to that cuz I'm still trying to learn myself. But A LOT of trial and error never hurt anybody. I've had enough of my share of that. And I just keep trying.
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