You gize don't need me to explain the reason you all come here, filled with anticipation every week, eyes aglow, heart aflutter, skin aprickle. You come here because you are smart. Not, like, smart enough to know lots of things (like me), just smart enough to know that THIS is the place you come to get it. Good advice. It's what I do.
Good advice #1: If you are gonna go "playland" yourself or your children YOU MUST COMMIT. It's like the beach. The first hour or so you try with all of your might to keep the sand off of your stuff. Your energy is often preoccupied with brushing sand off the towel/sandwich/child's hand that is about to hold that sandwich........without success. You are constantly trying to keep it at bay. And at some point you realize it is wasted effort and who cares if it will take 2 baths and 3 showers to finally get the sand out of juniors "underwear section" (or your own ears) anyway? It is gonna be everywhere and on everything. Once you commit to the sand being everywhere, suddenly it doesn't matter anymore. It's all in the mind. Which is what I tell myself every time I enter a children's playland. Cuz the amount of germs/general grossness/people-who-could-be-considered-human-rights-violations will be abundant. Just commit. And then it won't bother you so much, if at all. You might even enjoy the fact that you get to chat with an old friend from high school (hollah JennE!) without having to actually "parent" your kid for a brief time. *This is absolutely applicable to Chuck E Cheese which is one of my favorite places on earth with kids and that I WILL, in good conscience, get Jespy to enjoy one day.
Good Advice #2: Jazz Hands, the Running Man, the Robot, the Hammer Dance. These are inherently funny. Use them as often as possible. While driving in the car with your family?--Jazz Hands kills. In the kitchen making dinner while listening to the Backyardigans playing in the other room?--the Running Man nails it. Walking down the hallway past the office where your husband is on the computer?--Hammer Dance will bring down the house. I'm telling you people. Try it out. You will not be disappointed. I speak from experience you gize. Me and Landee are, like, the running man champions of the universe. I even think Jenny has video to prove it. So now it's your turn. MC Hammer won't even be able to touch you.
For you peeps out there who don't know what the Hammer Dance is (I'm so disappointed in you btw).
Aaaaaaaand go.........
13 comments:
Dear AskMemzy,
I don't know what the Hammer dance is. Maybe you could make an instructional video for your students with step by step instructions?
I agree with Eeka, hammer dance? I must know what move you've applied this name to.
Dear AskMemzy,
I have a husband who has an amazing talent. I'd say it's just a coincidence but it happens so often I'm starting to think it's an honest-to-gosh talent that he was born with or practices daily cuz he has perfected it. He has the amazing ability to come in right as I'm finishing something up (i.e. dishes, bringing in groceries, etc) and offer his help. This makes it so 1)he gets the credit for offering help and 2)doesn't have do do a freakin' thing.
My question is, what the?
Desperate in Denver.
Hammer time? Are you serious? I've gotta go find a video to show you gize. ::rolling eyes::
Desperate in Denver--Try this one out. I did it once and it toadally worked. 1. When your hubby comes in right at that moment and asks how he can help, point it out to him how sweet he is for offering. 2. Tell him you are sorry that he just missed helping out but you have something else you need his help with. 3. Have a list of things you need him to do in your mind that you can pull out for such an occasion.
My hubby started asking to help "earlier" if you knowatimsayin. He'd rather pick up toys than clean the toilets ya know?
Of coarse I know what the hammer dance is! I just wanted to watch it because when that song came out, that is the first time I felt cool.
Memzy- My sister is coming into town tonight. She is such a blast, but the party is all the way in Nampa, and I can't get there until about 5:00 at the earliest, and my kids usually go to bed around 7:00, and to top it all off they have class pictures tomorrow so keeping them up till the wee hours of the morning seems irresponsible. My question is, is that a question? Oh, and did I mention she is only here until tomorrow?
Um, I hate to tell the smartest person in the world what is what but that is not called the "Hammer Dance." You must add in MC part before the Hammer or else people's minds go to fist going up and down in a hammer-like fashion or even those axe throwing turtles in Mario Bros. The MC part is key. BTW, after watching that video (which, as it happens, brought me great joy)I now realize that I could do every one of those moves if I had the time to figure them out. My dancing days at the BY and my hip hop aerobic class has really paid off.
When you mentioned the Hammer Dance, I was like, oh yeah, I know what that is, but BOY was I wrong! That video took it to a whole new level.
Where can I get lessons IRL?
I watched that whole video, the same way I'd stare at a car wreck, and the whole time I thought I was looking for the hamster dance. I kept thinking "why do they call this the hamster dance?" Now I see you wrote the hammer dance. Makes sense now. Unlike your durty blog background.
Dear ASKMEMZY,
How do I tell the smartest person I know, that her blog, although adorable, is nearly impossible to read and headache-making?
Sincerely,
IwannaseetheHamsterDance
I totally agree with the jazz hands bit. Very true, very true.
Ok, here's my question:
I have failed as a mother getting my kids to not be lazy bums. I just do it myself. Now I am too sick to just do it myself. And the kids shockingly are still lazy as could be. What do I do? Cuz I'm too sick to really crack down on them either.
I'm really out of the loop. I haven't the foggiest what Jazz Hands, Robot, Running Man, or Hammer Dance are or how I could make use of them in amusing any of my friends and/or family. But since you're coming over for an Iphone blogging lesson, maybe we could fit some instruction in that art at the same time. I just love AskMemzy!
Katie--Two hours of quality time with your sis will not be for nothing. Especially if you involve any of the mentioned things in #2 up there. And video pleasekthanks.
Emily--Lessons IRL will be scheduled on our next IRL visit. Rest assured. And what Hammer dance did YOU think it was exactly?
Iwannaseethehamsterdancer--I think you just answered your own question. Clever girl.
MM--Just yell at them. Screaming totally works and in no way scars your children.
Mary--You're in luck! I am having a special this month on iphone lessons with a free dance lesson thrown in!
Seriously people...you didn't know what the hammer dance was? I am right there with ya on all those dance moves. I can do the running man like nobody's bizness!
Dear AskMemzy,
What do you do when you get home from vacation but you don't want to be home from vacation and you are going through major withdrawals?
Dear Ask Memzy,
No no no no no no no no no no! I wanted YOU to do the dance and video tape it.
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