Good advice #1: Buy in bulk. Nothing says, "I love my family" like a Sam's Club basket filled to the brim with XL tubs of peanut butter, refrigerator size boxes of cereal, and a dozen or so frozen/microwaveable "foods" for snacks or quick meals. These large discount stores are our friends. Lunchtime?.......grab a slice of pizza and a coke for wha?--$1.99!!!!! (or a hot dog if you're feeling it). As you peruse the aisles of such a glorious establishment, don't forget to head back to the bakery for a free cookie for you kiddo from the cookie club. I mean, I didn't even NEED 32 boxes of Kleenex at the time. I needed ONE. But I bought all 32 and guess what? Cracker had a cold last week with a sooper runny nose. Went straight through what would have been only one measly little tiny box of tissues. All I did was say, "Hey Cracker, let me head out to the garage and get you a box of Kleenex." Bam. Boom. My absolute fave tho is when I hear my hubby grumbling in the bathroom because he ran outta shampoo..........and I magically appear with a filled-to-the-brim brand spanking new one. Hubby: "Hey I'm out of deodorant. Would you mind picking some up at the store for me?" Me: "No problem" ::walking in 3.2 seconds later with new stick of deodorant:: You are suddenly the most amazing mom/wifey in the world.
Good Advice #2: If something isn't working for you---BREAK UP WITH IT. I decided a long time ago that no matter how many people told me how great crunchy peanut butter was,....it just wasn't doing it for me. I looked my JIF chunky square in the eye and told it bye-bye forever. I think that particular jar of peanut butter took it pretty well actually. And there are many more people out there to show love to chunky. I'm just not one of them. Same goes for cheap toilet paper. I tried, really I did. At only 1/3 of the price it's hard not to WANT to like the store brand tissue-paper-on-a-roll that they sell at your local store. But try and try as I may to make that relationship work,...............it just petered out. My affection for the pennies-saved slowly dwindled as my hiney took the brunt of such a choice. So me and my hiney had a little chat with the TP. Now most recently I had a difficult breakup. I woke up one morning last week and looked in the mirror to find my hair and I had grown apart. Well, it had actually grown down but you get what I'm saying. How the HECK did my hair get that long? Anybody? Well, it just wasn't working for me. Split ends, extra styling time, limp locks............all of these were ruining our relationship. So, I had a very gentle, and loving, "it's not you is ME" talk with my hair,......then went running down to my hair "guy" to make it official. See? All better.
Now it's your turn. Consider yourself advice-icated.
18 comments:
Dear memz,
Do you know of any all-natural peanut butter brands that offer chunky in bulk? My Laura Schudders is healthy but no chunky. Same with the kirtland brand. TJs sells it in teensy jars but it is a major staple at this house.
Also, why do you have such beautiful hair?
Great advice and SUPER cute hair-do! Love it.
How do I contain my excitement on my impending kid-free-husband-and-me trip?
Kindred spirits, you and I. Minus all the stuff we totally disagree on.
I love Costco...all the free samples, the box of tampons that will last an entire year. Fish crackers? Also, there is only one place I like chunky peanut butter. In the garbage, or in cookies (I guess two). And I do have a bit of advice for you, even though I am sure you already know this because you do know everything already, but every so often, Alberstons has these amazing sales. They had charmin on sale (I know what kind of toilet paper, you didn't need to mention the brand) I got the equivelant of 34 rolls for 5 dollars. Actually I got more like 170 rolls for 25 dollars. I am going to be soft wiping for a long time without the added expense. I will clue you in the next time that sale comes around...you said you like bulk. Oh, and the buying in bulk and stoking up thing...I have so much to say, but this comment is already too long, and i have a question. And I haven't even gotten to your hair yet.
My butt is starting to look like your hated peanut butter, but even that doesn't give me the motivation I need. How does one lazy broad get moving and skinny again? Summer is coming.
Oh. My. Gosh. Your hair is beautimousified! I am giving you a 11 out of 10. You get the extra point for having your iphone in the picture. Very deep.
Dear AM,
Should I have octuplets? Also, LOVE your healthy-looking hair. I'm going in on Fri, should I break up with my split ends?
Flem- maybe you didn't hear me right. Chunky pb and I broke up. I try not to make eye contact if ever possible.
Emily- don't try to contain the essitement. It's unpossible. In fact, if you weren't walking around giggling to yourself I'd be worried.
Katie-I didn't want to have to tell you but....you are borderline anorexic. So skinny. And please DO tell next time there is a tp sale. You had me at Charmin.
Jespy-you should DEF have octuplets. Look at all the food stamps that lady gets now? And about your hair....some people heart their split enz....can't bear to part with them. But I didn't even notice them sooo maybe you are giving more to that relationship than your hair is? It has to to both ways.
Dear AM,
I love your advice! I also think you look great. Will you sleep with me?
Sincerely,
Shed
CUTE hair!
I had a boss once that threatened to fire us if we came back from the drugstore run w/Charmin for the office potty. Dunno what he had against it. He also ate fish on his pizza, so maybe that explains it.
You have a hair guy?! Cool. I love those super fruity male stylists (said with a lisp). Please tell me is your stylist a flamer? If so, I love it.
Your hair looks great.
"Amen" to the toilet paper advice too.
Telling me that I am skinny is seriously so sweet, but that doesn't solve my problem. There is a holiday coming up that usually requires some nudity. You know what doesn't mix? Nudity, and chunky.
Speaking of nudity...Shed is so bold coming on here asking for some. You have to say yes, you know. You're welcome Shed.
So what is your comment section rated?? Hmmm oh well, its still necessary. As my 11 year old would say. "you are SO SMARTICAL"!!!
Dear AskMemzified,
My SIL and her two kids are coming in to town tomorrow. What can I do so it looks like I'm hosting/entertaining but really I'm just sending/doing challenges on Quordy?
Lovingly,
Best$2.99everspentinDenvah.
This Tuesday with Memzy did get a bit racy, but I still love your advice. I'm so into bulk buying and love to walk into my basement storeroom and grab anything I need and save my runs to the store for times when there is no rush or pressure to get back with that tube of toothpaste or jar of JUNKY peanut butter. That's right, I'm a lover of junky pb. Hope that doesn't sicken you!
Shed--You know this is a PG site here. You're offending my readers.
Michelle--Fish on pizza. Say no more.
MM--He is a loverly man with a "wife and 4 kids"
Katie--Candy.
Pearl Girl--"smartical". I like it.
Best $2.99--Don't try to hide it. Do like me, Jespy, and Anfernee and Mary did while visiting. Whip out your iphone and play while talking at the same time. It works.......most of the time. And WHY are you not doing MY challenges?
Mary--You had me at "basement storeroom". It is a thing of dreams. And no it doesn't sicken me that you like "junky" pb. To each his own. Like I said, do what works for you. I would, however, like to use the word junky in my routine language from now on. Hope you don't mind.
LOVE your haircut, LOVE buying in bulk -- though the receipt is always a shock to my system, and LOVE the new PG-13 status of your blog! How sweet! Will you "sleep" with me? Those are the most sought after words a girl could ask from her hubby!! Literally!! Ha! Ha!
Love the Hair also. Your such a pretty young thing.
Great advise too!
By the way I love your hair! It turned out really cute!
Love your new haircut! I always miss out on Tune in Tuesdays...you are hilarious, and since it is not Tuesday anymore i will save my questions for next week!
Love your new hair, looks great!!
I can relate!
change is good! it can always grow back
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