Will the aqua and peach color combination ever come back in style? Are they called nylons, stockings or hose? What about this perm? You've got questions,.....I've got answers. Have you gize heard that I give good advice?
Good Advice #1: Do NOT consider you dreams any form of real life. If you have a dream about going to church in a Halloween costume and giving the RS lesson on the benefits of milk chocolate vs. dark chocolate.............then coming home to a spontaneous dance off which includes yourself, Landee, and various forms of the running man (which you win, obviously)...............which is followed by a trip to the grocery store while wearing a unitard that turns into a concert that stars you and your band named "Gotta Love Emmy"..........................IT ISN'T REAL, NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. No matter how much you want to shut your eyes and pretend. (except for the unitard---no one would wish that on their worst enemy).
Good Advice #2: Don't try to open the passenger side car door while stopped at a stop light to talk to your friend in the car next to you because the window on that side is broken. That's just dumb. Use your brain because the light will turn green and you won't be able to get it closed all the way and soooo...............
Good Advice #3: When you are doing a fitness challenge with friends and there are weekly challenges for points,....and the one with the most points happens to be a "no soda week"....DON'T PICK THAT CHALLENGE. It is only day two people and I wanna rip somebody's head off. I might falter by tomorrow. That is, if I take my own advice, right?
K, you know the drill my friends..................................
16 comments:
Did I read that right? You are participating in a No Liquid Crack contest? Yeah, that's not gonna work.
Here's a question: How do I tell my nice cleaning lady that she is doing a really bad job?
Also, can you pleease give me a blog post topic? I'm blogstipated.
So you mentioned perms. I've been with a perm for about 6 moons now. I know it's not the 90's but I've been going curly anyhow. Should I keep this up, or get it straightened? It's about time to do one or the other again.
Dear AskMemzy,
Yeah, I have a question.... how dare you?
As if YOU would win a running man dance off against ME! I mean, that's a joke, right?
Word.
Thanks for the advice, even though I am sure I will never have that dream????? You Rock.
Emily- Make no mistakes. This is only for 1 week. I will get my liquid crack after that. Tell your cleaning lady like this, "Hey really nice lady,....I know how nice you are but you are stinking it up as far as cleaning goes." Then hand her a list of things she needs to do better. That should go over really well. Your blog topic should be: Socks and why I love them. (along with a picture of all the cute socks that you wear cuz I know you have them). Then take two laxatives and call me in the morning.
MM- I had no idea you had a perm! I happen to love your hair curly but just thought you were taking the time to do it with a curling iron. I say keep it. And I should know cuz I know stuff and things.
Landee- I meant that you and I were competing as a TEAM event. We were, together, performing various styles of running man and WE won. Be serious.
Ice Ice Baby.
Dear AskMemzy,
Thank you for your answer. It has helped me tremendously.
Now, what if your best frousin tells you something, you assume it means one thing, but it really was a team event in which you are teammates rather than competitors and now you feel like a jagbag?
Runningmaningly Yours,
Foot In Mouth
Dear Memzy,
What do you have to take before you go to sleep to have an awesome dream like that?
Also, what if you have stayed in your pjs for two days now? To clarify, I did take a shower, just put my pjs back on instead of getting dressed, and have no desire to make today the day you break the cycle?
Also, at what point have your halloween decorations been up too long? Uh, my neighbor wants to know this one.
Also, is it bad parenting to make you kids eat burritos three days in a row?
-out of dinner ideas in Idaho
Landee- Accept the jagbag feeling and then take your foot out of your mouth and replace it with a straw from a sonic drink. <-I'm not obsessing about soda at all btw.
Out of Dinner in Idaho- Those awesome dreams come courtesy of no diet beverage I'm assuming. Take out your most fave thing you eat or drink on a very regular basis and then try it.
Don't break the pj cycle. Go for a Guinness record. Your Halloween decor has been up too long if you neighbor is asking you to take it down. ::snicker:: Eating burritos three days in a row is only as bad as eating microwave popcorn chicken 4 days in a row. Which is to say, it's not bad at all. I think totally healthy even. Just throw in a diet soda each meal <-Did I just say that?
My house is messy, it is rainy outside, I have a million things to do, I have no motivation, I ate at McDonald's again, I have to pick up my kids in 15 minutes, my car is stinky. Would it be okay if I just blamed it all on Emily's bad cleaning lady? (Especially the raining part)
FireCrops- McDonalds is good food. Clean houses are overrated. Cleaning lady's should be blamed for all our problems.
Dear Memz,
I'm off Soda too. It's not a pretty sight. I got one (I mean two) for Chunky yesterday just so I could feel their presence. My Question... How many sodas a day is too many for a 3 year old, I think bi-polar little boy?
Br boy mom- See I know my limits. If I had one around me just to "fell their presence" I would sooo cave. I had to take all signs of them out of my house before the week began. I'm sort of crying right now thinking about it. As far as your kid, DEFinitely no more than 10 sodas a day.
I"m firing my cleaning lady. Just as soon as I find her under all the crap....oops, I mean junk. I would never say cr*&.
A. I gave up on perms because I had to choose between grey curly hair or some other un-old color hair that's not curly. (It's not really straight either..just kind of "wrinkled".). I'm guessing you don't have a grey problem just yet...
I have to eat no or lowfat and low or no sugar foods, but I do have me a soda here and there. If I had to give up soda you would find me on the 5 o'clock news. Just sayin props to you cause I can't do it. Now my question: What is the best thing to use to get blue/pink yogurt out of light cream colored carpet? It's in an open spot and covering it with a rug or such would look odd.
Dear AskMemzy,
So what do I do if alls I want to do is read a certain book and not blog or read my emails or answer phone calls or take care of my kids, and I'm going on my third day because it's really long and has super tiny type packed onto the pages, so one page is actually like reading three normal pages?
Thanks,
Mrs. Ari Ben Canaan
Case- Hmmm. That's a tough one. You do realize that blue/pink yogurt is unnaturally colored that way right? Every time Char asks for a "rabbit yogurt" (cuz he likes the TRIX ones, duh) I sort cringe when I open the lid and florescent colors come screaming out at me. Have I sufficiently sidestepped the answer yet?
Mrs. Think she's Ari's wife- As long as we know you are reading that book then all other "shortcomings" are forgiven. What part are you on now? And btw, you should count those extra tiny-type pages for extra days of "shortcomings" just to be safe and not to feel guilty or anything. Oh, and let everyone around you know that AskMemzy said it was ok.
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