To start it off I thought I'd go poetic on your hineys. Cuz who doesn't LURVE poetry, right?
M ore good advice than any human should have, she does.
E very tuesday is here lickety split on the dot for her peeps.
M ucho smarty pants
Z illions of people use her advice (maybe that's an overstatement but....thinking positive ya know)
Y ou could benefit from her awesomeness. There is no charge for awesomeness.
So, in honor of food (cuz food should be celebrated...........daily you gize) I thought I'd give you a little list of advice of things you should never eat or drink. In no particular order:
1. PEPSI WHITE: Apparently Pepsi had a bright idea to market a "pepsi-yogurt" drink in Japan. Yeeeeeeah. That's exactly what I want my soda to taste like..............yogurt. I'll take my soda brownish in color and tasting of carbonation, artificial sweeteners and the like thank you very much. You gize should too.
2.DOUBLE DECKER SANDWICHES: What? Two slices of bread isn't good enough for you?
3. MARZIPAN: A sickeningly sweet almond paste often shaped into barely edible creatures. Example: It looks cute but why would I decide "this really sounds good right now" to eat this edible frog. That's creepy you gize. Plus, empty calories. Doyee.
4. EXTRA FANCY KETCHUP: Now why would you feel the need to give your burger or fries the white glove treatment? Let's live in reality people.
5. UNCRUSTABLES: Are traditional pb&j's really that hard to make? I suffer from laziness you gize but that is taking it to a whole other level. Don't give in.
6. HATERADE: That's not really a drink but it is so funny I wanted to share. Lollerz.
I'd like you to use some of these words in your regular daily usage. Either to awe your peers or to make someone laugh -- it is the same.
1. TUROPHILE: Someone who really fancies cheese. I think Jenny is the coolest turophile ever.
2. WHELMING: Adjective used to describe something neither overwhelming nor underwhelming. In other words, something that's just right. I can't wait to use this one you gize. And I look forward to hearing it from you as well.
3. JANKY: When "nasty" or "icky" just doesn't cut it anymore.
4. HATERADE: You knew that was gonna come up didn't you? Try it out. I dare you.
Do these things this week and you will be on the right path to a life full of happiness.
It's true.
Now what can I do to help you out? Hit me.
22 comments:
What exactly does haterade mean? I really am liking "whelmed." I think that's a good one.
I had a tough time reading the food portion of this post. Yuck. But I agree.
Yes, I did a search and no definition for haterade was found but with your utmost intelligence bubbling I know you either have a definition or will make a worthy one available to your audience.
Oh, I know what haterade is. It is milk, right? That stuff is janky, but if you leave it in your fridge long enough (or better, on the counter, or under a bed) it will turn into cheese, which I love because I am a turophile.
Question:The last few days have been whelming. How do I throw a little spice, or better yet, a lot less spice to make them more mentionable?
I love the knew words!! Love them!
Haterade (sounds like Gatorade):
"She's acting so janky. She must have been drinking some haterade."
"Don't be drinking Haterade. Chill."
^it's sorta urban you gize.
Um, I get the feeling most of your readers are suburbanites here, so muy bien on introducing the ghetto slang sista. Can't wait to use whelmed.
Speaking of food, I would like to ask why my kids love a dish I make one day and another day say they can't stand it? Also, why do my kids claim they have had something before when they clearly haven't?
if I start talking like around here that they might think I was Janky, they might even think I was drinking haterade and then they would take me and my turophile little daughter a mine to that one place.
Do I need to be tan before I go on the cruise? I feel like why bother? But lots of others are bothering.
Signed, to orange or not to orange.
Don't be hateradein' you gize.
I need to use to the cheese one but I don't think I'll be able to remember how to spell it. Is there a jingle/poem to help me remember?(<--that's my official ASKMEMZY query) I'm a bad speller.
I concur that any food shaped like frogs automatically renders itself inedible. No chocolate is that good! I suppose you would be the world's biggest turophile to even eat frog-shaped cheese.
Yo, I got it made
in da shade
cuz I got paid
so I'm gonna raid
da arcade
drinkin' Haterade
lookin' for a French Maid
cuz I need to git... my furniture dusted ya know.
I have an hour and forty minutes with out kids you gize! I just wanted to know if it is ok to brag about it?
I would like to inform you all that the abbreviated form of Janky, is Jank and is a much more acceptable form among the young, hip folks at my house - Jank-Y- is much like saying Neat-O-. . .it may date you just a bit - and Br - I'm not bothering with the tan-ness - however hair removal is already underway -you go on a cruise to GET tan - but extra hair ? just nasty !!
sorry - that was me - not my husband - he obviously does not have issues with too much hair and couldn't care less whether he is tan or not !!
K. I love the linguistics lesson but where is all the advice? Cuz my question is the same as Flem's. I make something new... my kids rave about it and gobble it down.... I put it in my "Go to/Crowd Pleaser" file...I make it again.... The kids look like they are barfing on the inside as they gag it down/don't eat a single bite/proclaim it to be all janked up. This is even after I've smothered it in tons of extra fancy ketchup <---- the only kind worth buying, btw.
Welmingly Yours, Landee
Flem(and Landee)- Children are beastly/fickle creatures. Not unlike my hurrdid that likes the way I style it one day and the next seems to revolt from every attempt of my curling iron.......it happens. I haven't quite learned to accept this graciously when it does tho. Usually I get very janky and make lots of huffing and puffing noises around the dinner table as well as scrubbing a little too fervently on the after-dinner dishes. But the answer is the same. It just is.
Pearl Girl--I know right?
Katie--More spice= watching a marathon of "America's Next Top Model". Less spice= watching a marathon of "Growing Pains".
Dear to orange or not--I say no way. You'll end up with some tanning debacle that is unfixable upon you entering the magical waters of the cruising world.
Jespy--I'm working on your jingle. I'll get back to you.
Markie--Well said, well said.
Jonesy--Good to see you back! I will use the Jank form as well as the Janky form. Cuz I like to diversify like that.
Landee--The advice IS what not to eat and new words to say. ::patting on head::
Uh no, oh wise one, I meant where are you to answer people's questions. Doy. ::patting you on butt::
And an answer to Katie about coming up with another way to say "fun":
FUNicates
FUNity
FUNder
FUNdesylous
::giggling cuz that tickles::
Here's one way Jespy. Try this out for size. These are types of cheeses that spell it out for you.
T-Tillamook Cheddar
U-Ulloa
R-Romano
O-Oxford Blue
P-Parmesan
H-Havarti
I-Idaho Goatster
L-Longhorn
E-Edam
Also sung to the A-B-C-song.
You forgot the obvious: funnerz
Memz, I can't say those words, let alone sing them. ::crumbling up your comment, throwing it in the direction of the waste basket, directing you back to the drawing board::
Tough crowd. Tough crowd.
And funnerz is too obvious don't you think? Katie was really wanting something new.
I am new at this, so funnerz is new to me. This is so fundesylous! You wanna know how the dentist went? Whelming, but I am having a funity time now. (Is that the wrong tense?) I think next time I will have you use it in a sentence. It helps my brain.
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