By Memzy McSmartypansons
No one should go through life alone. You shouldn't have to look yourself in the mirror and decide whether this new and hip shade of blue eye shadow works on your 33 year old face. (it doesn't) You don't need to walk into a Walmart alone and not know how to get out alive. (it's tricky) That is why I come to you each week and let you know things.
Good Advice #1: Life will be very, very different if you use fabric softener. Get on out to your local warehouse store and buy a lifetime supply. For some insane reason, I hadn't been using it for years and years now. I'm guessing it had a lot to do with a good amount of laziness/penny pinching on my part but I digress. Whilst moving into our house recently my loverly honeybuns left a "trail" of fabric softener from the garage, all the way down the hallway, finally ending in a pool of fabric softener in the laundry room.................as he attempted to move and hook up our washer/dryer. (see, I have those little "drawer things that sit under my washer/dryer and I guess I had an old bottle in there?). Anyhoo, 5.5 beach towels later and the inaugural wash-after-hookup took place, I threw that load of towels in the dryer, yadda yadda. Imagine me now hearing the dryer beep (picture this in slow motion please), opening up that load of lusciousness (previously unknown to me) and finding my sandpaper beach towels turned into pillowy folds of my own personal heaven. What? Oh that's right.....fabric softener is supposed to SOFTEN your FABRICS. I then proceeded to run around the house, forcing my beach towels of heaven onto every member of my family,.......more than once.........making them feel them, touch them, smell them, hold them, and generally go Ga-Ga over them like I did. Life has changed. I went straight to the store to buy my own jumbo sized tub of perfection and have routinely been fabric softening every piece of washable thing in my house. You people need to do the same.
Good Advice #2: Sugary cereal is a healthy meal. I grew up in a household that rarely to NEVER bought such things. Grape Nuts and Corn Flakes were the choices around that place with a very rare Frosted Mini Wheats thrown in. No offense to the Visors (we DID have a candy cupboard don't get me wrong) but it just wasn't happening. I lamented my lack of sugary morning goodness every time I saw a commercial for Lucky Charms. I drooled as I gazed into my sleepover friend's pantry at her selection of Fruit Loops and Coco Puffs. Could I spend the night here every night? After venturing out on my own to my freshmen year at BYU, my main meal staple was, in fact, Lucky Charms in the Morris Center. Breakfast, Lunch, AND Dinner. Landee and Flem can attest to this very thing. It's like I went on a sugary cereal binge for a good 3-4 years. I tell you this because I've been on both ends of the breakfast cereal spectrum. And now that I am older (only a little) and wiser (fer super duh) I've come to a balance. And that balance is this: they have fortified the crap outta those cereals these days. Yes, there is some sugar (stop glaring at me Flem). And yes, there could be a better choice for breakfast. But lets be honest. A four year old sitting at my kitchen table, thoroughly enjoying his Honey Combs and milk, .......quietly......... while those vitamins sneak into his little system is alright with me I say.
You know the drill then. Hit me.
13 comments:
I am SO wit you on the fabric softener!! I started using it about one.five years ago when I visited my aunt and wondered why her towels all smelled so nice. Came home and implemented, Boom! For those who are cheap, the target brand is great, but other generics not-so-good. For me. I buy Downy now.
As for sugar cereals, my kids visit friends in Bakersfield and in Denver who make up for it. But good advice anyway.
I can't believe you didn't use fab softner. I thought you were more intelligent than that!! hahaha, I will not use a towel that is not fluffy and soft. I'd rather air dry. And I too have finally given in to the sugar cereal dilemma. Not because the kids love it so, but more so because its what is always on sale. You can get it for like .75 a box most of the time at Albieland.
Now my question. HOW DO I GET MY 11 YEAR OLD BOY TO THINK GIRLS ARE ICKY!!!!
Have you seen the "blue balls" that they are selling that supposedly work just like fabric softener? Supposedly, the balls bop around in your dryer, soften your clothes, and get rid of static cling, while saving you money. Do you think the money savings would be worth it or should I just continue springing for the Downy Fabric Softener to avoid telling people I have blue balls?
P.S. Don't these companies have smart marketing people that advise against such terrible names for their products?
Flemmy- you can come next week to get your fill of sugary cereals!
Pearl Girl- just make sure your boy is really into science and reading and computer animation. It totally works for me.
Vanessa- I think just the fact that they are CALLED "blue balls" is reason enough not to buy them.
I thought EVERYBODY used fabric softner? You might not be as smart as you though you were...
Here's my question: How do I get passed the guilt of leaving my kids for almost 2 weeks (non consecutively)?
Dear AskMemzy,
How can I ask someone to be a weekly guest on my podcast without coming off as too needy? This person came up with quality content and delivered like a stand-up comedienne. I must have her on as often as possible... but again... don't wanna sound needy.
Signed,
OnAniTunesNearYou
Emat- You can't get rid of the guilt. You just have to muscle through it. Use any food eating/magazine reading/honeybuns activities possible to divert your attention. Cuz getting away from the kids only makes you a better mom when you get home!
ps. I'm even SMARTER than I thought I was.
AnItunesNearYou-I told you I would do it already. Just name the night, nerd.
Where's the newest installment of cooking with Clara? I need my fix!
Sugar cereal is the greatest invention for busy housewives since the introduction of sliced, white, completely free of any nutritional value bread! In the summertime, when it's too hot to cook, what's better than a bowl of Cap'n Crunch and ice cold milk??? It doesn't get better than that ladies.
I don't use fabric softener. I think I'll try this one.
I grew up on sugary cereals and I turned out perfectly fine myself. So I agree.
We missed you at the family thing!
I was wondering if you still have a load of boxes hanging around that I could take off your hands. I need to start packing my house for Colorado.
Sorry I'm so late in commenting--was gone most of yesterday. Let me preface my remarks by saying I am not the least offended by Memzy's cereal info. Here's the thing; which would you peeps rather grow up with-- boring cereal AND a candy cupboard--or JUST sugar cereal. BYW--I have no knowledge of sugar-cereal deprivation.
MY mom made us eat cooked cereal EVERY DAY. Oatmeal, cracked wheat and footballs (whole wheat given that name for obvious reasons). She made us finish all our hot cereal before we could leave the table. I had such trouble getting it down. She would put chocolate chips on it, bacon on it. Didn't work. To this day I will not eat hot cereal of any kind. Coulda been worse. :) I know some of Memzy's cousins who grew up on powdered milk. Now that's painful.
I go through phases of fabric softener and it is only in truly hard financial times, that I make that kind of sacrifice, and I always figure that it takes a couple washes to get it all the way out, yadda yadda, but then I grow complacent. I have been doing without for about 8 months now. I am so rushing out to get some.
I know it is too late for questions so I will not expect a response to this lame question.
Is it wrong to steal a recipe from your blog and say it is my own? It is for a personal cookbook, and I don't have anything of my own to add. Too late...::looking for that chocolate cake one::
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