As this week begins, with no less than a high of 83 today in Bake-town (hollah!! I might even wear j-e-a-n-s), I come to you with a couple tid bits of my own to start us off right.
Good Advice #1: When you become a singer/songwriter/pop star (like I will totally be one day after I finish raising my kids, learn how to play the guitar, then learn how to write songs, and get an awesome manager, then............er......you get the idea) you need to NOT act like Kanye West and YES, VERY DO act like Taylor Swift and Beyonce.
It's like Kanye just stepped on a little kitten, or punched a baby seal in the face. The best part about this is how Beyonce pulls up "class act" later on in the night.
So, in review, when I become a big pop star I'm gonna tell Kanye where to go. And Taylor and Beyonce are gonna be my BFF's. Will you gize buy my album?
Good Advice #2: Farts are funny. Accept it. Embrace it. I live with three boys and one grown man. I shouldn't really have to say more.
K your turn!!! I'm ready.
16 comments:
Okay, Taylor and Beyonce both have so much class. Thanks for the videos!
Need advice about the fart thing:
Since I also have boys and a husband, I have tried to teach them some manners about the whole farting thing; just say, "Excuse me!" after the act occurs, so that people around us don't think it is me that did the farting. I want the right person to be blamed! However, what would you do if your son now passes gas in his Primary class and at school and then says, "Oh, excuse me!" in a loud voice? Should I retract my original mommy wisdom, and tell him to be silent instead and let the blame fall elsewhere?
Thanks!
Embarrassed Mommy of Farting Son
NOOOOOO - Farts are not funny ! I will not concede ! PARTICULARLY during family prayer !
Great advice. I wonder if the woman of the house ever has flatulance?
Sincerely,
Stincked out husband on several occations
Happy TIT! I agree with President Obama ... Kanye West is a jackass!
I participate in a weekly meme called "Tune In Tuesday" as well. I invite your blog readers to go old school with me and The Manhattans!
peace, Villager
We already to adhere to advice #2 in our house.
And I saw those clips of the VMA yesterday and couldn't believe that! I totally like Taylor Swift and Beyonce a lot more now.
Here's my question. I have this obsession with butts. Just the people I love of course. Other people's butts are just gross. I always want to swat them or squish them. Sometimes I wonder if I am getting out of hand. Is it ok for me to do that? I sometimes worry I am giving my kids the impression it's ok to go around grabbing people's butts.
::chanting "TIT" over and over whilst pumping my fist::
Dear Ask Memzy,
Can a girl who survives on SlimFast and Lean Cuisines ever have too many aprons? Those things splatter. And I can't waste another minute on the Kanye thing. I wore out my google yesterday, reading celeb Tweeter responses. OK fine, I'll watch it one more time... sheesh.
Signed,
Baby Kitten
PS. Beyonce should have done this post. She gave the best advice I've seen in a decade.
I just wanted to apologize to Memzy and her fans and her mom. I spoke to her mother right after I wrote that "PS" part of my comment and she said the same thing my mother would have said. She is very talented! I like the lyrics about she's a cheerleader and she's in the bleachers! ........... I'm in the wrong for going on her blog and taking away from her moment! Beyonce's advice was the best of the decade!!!! I'm sorry to my fans if i let you gize down!!! I'm sorry to my friends at MTV!!!!!! I will apologize to Memzy 2MRW....
Embarrased with flatulent son-- better him than you, right? But srsly, same thing as when we teach "inside voice and outside voice". You need to teach him "when to claim and when to blame".
Jonesy--funny. Just don't laugh in front of them. But still, funny.
Stinkered Out--the lady of the house never farts. Common knowledge. And if she did...it would smell like flowers. "he who smelt it dealt it".
MM--bums are meant to be grabbed. Period. But there is an age limit I'm afraid. I'll let you decide what age that might be. But, unfortunately, I've already reached it with one if mine. Mostly thus results in more bum squeezing fir the littlest. Poor guy.
Baby Kitten--one can never have too many aprons. Dare I say that you need many imparticularly because of your cheese fettish. And I'll think about your apology. I have all if MTV and the celebrity world on my side so I can stand to hold out for a bit.
Thanks for saving me the time and providing the video footage here. Am I weird that I cried? I seriously cried and I'm really not sure why.
Who was that person and what the H was that person they showed in the audience wearing on their head? Can you investigate that and get back to me? Thanks.
Emily--I cried too. Luckily, my husband wasn't around to laugh at me crying. It was just so cute.
And that was Lady Gaga I believe. Wearing feathers. Yup.
Memzy~
when I go to church, I never see the kinds of clothes and dresses like those on the VMAs. I would love to see more feathers...am I wierd? Lady GaGa must be in a different ward than mine...
From "Woodstock 2009 Teacher"
*we tune in but don't drop out*
Woodstock Teacher-- If you can brings feathers back to church......more power to you. Just make sure I know when you're planning to so I can visit.
Listen, Lady GaGa's face nest was not made of feathers, it was made of hair. Hair, I tell ya! Google it.
Nobody puts Taylor in the corner..or to the side of the stage.
My favorite Kanye West quote, "I have sacrificed real life to be a celebrity and to give this art to people" Memzy, is it wrong that I can't help reading everything this man says? It's like a car accident. I can't help myself.
signed,
GeorgeBushHatesBlackPeople.
Dear Memzy,
I'm in a new relationship and, boy, could I use your help!
My new eBFF & I have only been "official" for a couple of hours, but already I want to add her the Friends list on my blog.
What do you think? Am I moving too fast?
Signed,
New & Nervous
Dear GBHBP--No it is not wrong, Hot Pants. Not at all.
New & Nervous--I'm guessing, no, very no, you are not moving too fast. In fact, I bet your new eBFF has already added you to her google reader account anticipating any new blog updates and was hoping with all internet-machine hope that you would add her as a friend so she could quickly do the same. Kbye
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